Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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DAD’S day

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When is a good dad great?

On fathers day, I wanted to look at and understand the complexities of a good father vs a great father. 

A good father loves

A great father loves

A good father says “I love you”

A great father says “I love you”

A good father provides

A great father provides

A good father supports

A great father supports

A good father is present

A great father is present

A good father is a positive role model

A great father is a positive role model

A good father is a friend to his kids

A great father is a great friend to his kids

All in all, there are many principles to be followed in these statements, and none of them are bad, they are all levels of good fathering…

Dr Google says :

The key difference [between a good and great father] lies in the level of active engagement and the depth of the relationship with their children. 

The world is measured by the world, and basically the difference is found in the “degree of goodness” a father has for his kids. 

“A good father is good to his kids and a great father is gooder to his kids”

But the bible sees it very differently… The bible says “fathers” with no distinction between “good” and “great”. So what does it mean to be a father in the bible? Here are a few key illustrations from scripture:

raising them in the Lord’s instruction

 guiding children towards a right path

 righteous and wise, highlighting the impact of a father’s example

 leading with reverence for God

You can clearly see the Bible has turned the relationship of

“father / child”

to

“father/God, child/God, father/child”

and does not talk about the child and father without God, a great father is a three way relationship putting God at the center and father/child on each side.

“father/GOD/child”

If you want to be a good father, be good to your kids, if you want to be a great father, be gooder to your kids but if you want to be the father you are called to be… put God in that relationship first and always point back to God. 

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?

If you think you are a good father, God says you are actually evil (by comparison or actually evil by human standards, it matters not). “evil” and you still make good choices for your kids…

A godly father should be our goal, not a good father and not a great father. We should be friendly, not friends. We should be models, not peers. We should be God focused, not person focused. Take back the role of father today and serve your children well, teach them in the ways of the Lord first. 

May God richly bless your sacrificial service to your family today as you discover God’s sacrificial service to you. 

Special side note: There are a group of men that give extra, not all are “GOOD” but remember the “step fathers” who make a decision every day to be a father to a child that usually rejects that man daily, remember those men that “step in” as a father…

C

Success in failure

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As we sat deep in the woods overlooking the ravine, a twig snaps, leaves crunch and out steps the largest buck I have ever seen, It had to score around 350, perfectly balanced and a body that easily hit 290 lbs. The most majestic buck I have ever seen! I coached my son: as we gazed upon the monster… “slowly” I whispered. He slowly raised his shotgun filled with a finely tuned sabot round, dead eye! Can’t miss! Once in a lifetime! Taking Aim, he breathes in, holds for a moment and slowly releases his breath… his first ever White tail is about to drop on the spot. He gently squeezed the trigger, not jerking a bit, steady and true, just like we practiced. And then in an instance, it’s over, I woke up in the comfort of my bed realizing it was a dream. I never had the opportunity to watch my sons succeed in deer hunting, at least not like in my dream. 

Years later I sit and remember the feeling they shared as they all found success in failure. Learning how to fail is a much better lesson than dropping the big one first time out. Failure is by far a better way to learn than success. But sometimes we need a little success to have the motivation to fail. I remember my first time hunting, I was 18, in winter Wisconsin. So many good and bad things about that trip. Rolled a friend’s fathers truck, over drinking and shot a monster 12 point… I still have that mount. Never a day goes by where I don’t see that mount and remember the person I was, and the things I did… Success? Perhaps… Failure? MOST CERTAINLY!!  

I don’t dwell on my mistakes like I used to, after all, that was 40 years ago. I have grown a lot from that fate filled day. I respect people more and I don’t drink or do drugs anymore… Instead, I have turned my life over to doing GOD’S will and not my own… ohh I’m still in there, waiting to screw things up and learn a new or previously learned lesson… there is no end to my failures, but I look at things different now, I can see the hand of God leading me, and when I let go of that hand, I can hear the still calm voice of my Lord say: “Charlie, I am” and once again I reach out to the everlasting Father that has kept me alive to this day. 

My life? HA, I’m on borrowed time! I think back to the movies of a man that gives his life to servanthood because another man saved his life. So now, he gives his life to serving that man in a debt of gratitude.  A debt he can not repay! Debts we can not actually conceive in its fullness. A debt I gladly turn over to serve the one that saved me… and yet, we forget!

Eventually these three boys learned to love hunting and found success on their own timeline, and learned the lessons they needed to learn. Years later Sam and Al joined my family… The only one I never got to share in hunting success was Sam… we went out a few times but I don’t think he was ever truly interested in woodsy stuff. I took Al out hunting porcupines one year. He was successful in how he stood there as I pulled the trigger, no flinching, screaming and no freaking out. I kept him focused on the object and he found success in my pulling the trigger… incase You don’t know, balloon pops are Als biggest phobia, and it’s a major deal to have him out hunting. 

I am thankful God has a use for me. That keeps me motivated! Much like the success he gave me in hunting for the first time. In this, I could teach life lessons to 5 boys, and many more if we count Boy Scouts. I wonder how all my Boys Scouts are doing today, are they successful because of my failures? I sure hope so!!

Have a blessed day today, tomorrow I bring 5 fat hogs into the slaughter house to be processed into food for our family and friends. I STILL HAVE A HOG IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

God Bless, Charlie.

Truth or Trust Fail

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I saw a movie trailer the other day starring Kevin Bacon and  Amanda Seyfried. Kevin made a claim “You broke the rules, there are no more rules anymore” This really struck a chord in my life… On one hand, we need to build sound and safe parameters to our lives for our safety and the safety of those we love. As a man, we have been given the responsibility of the protection of our families. Protection? From what? Maybe the horrible scene playing out in the Carolinas? Maybe from the fires in Maui? Maybe we should be testing fire hydrants in Cali?

What areas of protection do you see lacking in your world? Do we provide protections for others? WHO IS OUR CHARGE OF PROTECTION?

As the cofounder of Sam’s Place, Jess and I talk alot about how we can provide protection, how we can keep our residents safe…  safe, safe from what? I think back to the old movies like “Predator”. How would I protect anyone from that? I’m not a superhero… Well, I’m not super concerned about that type of threat, but I am concerned about other threats that are more realistic. Fires, floods and cold weather are real concerns… Locked doors, cameras monitoring who is “coming and going” are just a couple ways I can address safety, or maybe it’s the new boilers, electrical panels and a new roof? 

These are all great ways to provide protection, but what about the threats that we cant see? You know, the threats from within the mind? A few years back I got the opportunity to learn a bit about schizophrenia… It’s a difficult disorder. Imagine not being able to determine truth, hearing voices, seeing people and not knowing what is real. How do I protect someone from that? How horrible is it to allow a person to go on believing things that are not real? I guess if it doesn’t matter what a person believes then they can just imagine the reality they want? NO! That’s evil! 

I could go deep and prove my point here but in the end, If you don’t believe that objective truth matters, you will believe whatever you want to believe, regardless of facts, truth, reality and reason. If that’s true for you, I hope someone is looking out for you and protecting you from the reality of objective truth.

Back to trust, trust is knowing the person you trust will always do what is best for you in the long run. Trust is about putting others ahead of you and valuing the good outcome for them over your own desires… Think of it like the instructions on an aircraft, putting the mask on those that cant help themselves first is how is wrong and puts everyone at a higher risk of death. Taking care of the caregiver is how you take care of both people. BUT THAT SEEMS SELFISH. Until you are helping that person later, after the crash…

But what do you do when things are “WRONG” ? What do you do when trust is broken? What do you do when the one that is supposed to put you first with the lifesaving oxygen mask puts it on themselves and never helps you with yours, or worse, they put on the mask because they are saving themselves? What if the men in the Titanic got into the lifeboats to help the women and children get in but then they just stayed in the boat and did not help the women and children… 

The Movies are filled with scenes about trust fails, like life, the breach of trust is difficult… it destroys relationships faster than any other situation… 

If the plane had one too few masks, or the Titanic had too few boats… Where do you suppose you would see Jesus? Behind the mask? In the boat? No, he would be high and lifted up on that cross for you. For me. 

I’m so glad to realize that after I put the mask on my boys, help Jess into the boat, and stand at the end of life’s journey, I will always have company… The Men that take their jobs serious and Jesus. They will all be standing at the rails, watching the ones they love floating away to safety. 

Trust is a life’s journey, yet we all fail sometimes. Charlie