Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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The Lone Traveler, moving on?

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Today was a cool 48 degrees as we called out “Ready to go?” He walked out with nothing in hand, looking like a stuffed winter coat and new shoes. “Just a minute, I am almost ready” he replied as I made room for his personal belongings in the back of the car. “Ok, I will go get your meds packed up, Thanks for being ready to go, I have to make a Dr appointment in rapids by 8:30 this morning.”

A few minutes later I had all his meds packaged up, the black bag was full but not overflowing. “Can I grab a quick smoke before we head out?” I simply replied “sure, we are still ahead of schedule a bit”. He casually walked back after a few pulls on his hand rolled cigarette. “Ok, you got everything? Do you need help carrying anything?” confidently he replied “NOPE, I have everything I want!”  Knowing this man, I knew not to ask too many questions, he gets a bit frustrated with questions and leading conversation…. “OK, Let’s roll!”

The 1 hour trip was calm, a bit of chatter but nothing too deep, I asked what his plan was. He told me he has a plan and he would rather not talk about it, so I left it alone. I asked one more question as we drove down the scenic hwy 38… Do you need anything? 

This man came to us as a mess, medical bills, legal issues, no plan, no ID…. It was about 6 months ago, we helped him get things figured out, I drove him to the court house to get his legal matters fixed, that was a two hour drive one way, I got to know this man and he was a pretty decent fellow, his life story was so much like my own, troubled youth in the cities, stayed out of the big stuff, kept his head down usually… but he had some pretty significant troubles, I recognized the look, the despair and frustration. But in the end, he is a man, made in the image of God, redeemable by the blood of Jesus and infinitely valuable. 

Jess did the most work on getting his life straightened out, countless phone calls to the county, the SS office, State offices, Mountains of paper work, and finally it was all good to go… now he was moving out… He is moving on? “Where can I drop you off?” the quiet voice replied “Just drop me at walmart, I will get around from there!” and in no time, I was pulling into Walmart parking lot “I want you to know something, Jess and I have been praying for you from the first day you moved in, and we will continue to pray for you as long as we are able, Have a good one” and with a quick thank you, he stepped out, closed the  door and crossed over behind the car. I pulled away, we both started to cry, of coarse Jess had big sad, wet eyes and I sucked it up so I wouldn’t crash the car.

Jess and I hadn’t even gotten to the end of the parking lot… “I can’t believe that! All he wanted was his meds? No clothes? No personal effects of any type?” back at Sam’s Place he had neatly washed, folded and put everything away in his room, but he only brought what was on his back. I was reminded of what Job said in his deepest despair “Naked I came into this world, and naked I will go out of this world” This man left us the exact same way he came to us, WITH NOTHING!

Rumor has it he was headed to a homeless shelter in St Paul somewhere, he travels light and fast, wanting only to be left alone, ignored and helped only when he asks for it… The lone traveler. 

Jess asked me “Why? Why would a man choose to be homeless? On the streets? With absolutely nothing?” I can’t answer that question, but I can tell you how he got there…. Pain!

As I close this emotional blog post, I ask you, my christian brothers and sister, pray for this man and all the men that have felt pain so deep and so often, they only trust this pain, the one thing they have learned is abundant and always available.  Ask God to watch over him, protect him and change his heart of stone to one of flesh… it’s never too late, and prayer isn’t the only thing left to do, it’s the first thing we ought to do. 

God’s speed my friend. C

PS. Forgive my absence, we have nbeen very busy… and GRANDBABIES!!

The Haze

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I am sitting looking out the window at a wall of white, it’s not smoke this time but rather a wall of haze that fills the air. The humidity is “rainforest like”. I search my weather app and look at where my kids and grandbabies are…. Jacob is the worst off of all and Alex has it the best. But not far behind the worst is Chris. 

This got me thinking about how we live our lives, in a haze… ya, we are so blessed in the USA, I think of my many friends and readers in China, Singapore, Taiwan, Hongkong, Belgium, Oman, UAE, Israel, Brazil, Peru, France, UK, Canada and about 50 more. I wonder how they find my blog, what they think when they read it and how a world of HAZE can still show the light. The truth and honesty of a God that loves us so much he gave the ultimate gift so that he may spend eternity with us…. We are all going to be somewhere for eternity, I’m glad I know I will be with a good, loving GOD. 

The haze is so thick, I can’t see across the field today. I wonder what is beyond the edge of the haze… is it a bear looking for some rotten smelly snack? Is there a fox trying to sneak up on one of our hens? Is there a skunk that is wandering the woods looking for a big juicy grub? 

I think of my life, I wandered so long, looking for significance, value and meaning… I see our Guys at Sam’s Place, looking for the same thing I was in search of… wanding around looking for something to fill our cravings, never finding the food that satisfies forever, but finding a quick grub or skinny chicken, or a forgotten road kill… never satisfied for more than a day, and back at it, on the search again…

I see the growth of some of our guys and the desire of others to destroy the lives of themselves and anyone around them. I was once that rotten soul, bringing anyone around me down with me. I sold drugs and I supplied enough “ill-repute” to destroy many folks that struggled… but I was not the first, this chain of destruction that ended with me came from a long line of people “hell bent” on destruction. 

We get guys like that every so often, perhaps a lie from them or perhaps the facility where they currently reside in.. They want him gone so badly that they are willing to “leave out certain information” in order to get them out of their care and make this guy “someone else’s problem”… But the truth be told? We have a fantastic group of guys now! Believe it or not, the influence is not from within Sam’s Place but from outside Sam’s Place. Just because we have a zero tolerance for alcohol, marijuana and other drugs, this doesn’t mean our guys are strong enough to resist the forces that are lurking in the back yard. 

As soon as we get one “source” dried up and secured, there comes another. It’s almost like the world wants our guys challenged daily, tempted always and I cant even tell you how many outside of Sam’s Place remind us “BUT ITS LEGAL” … legal does not mean healthy, safe or good…. When you are in the battle for mental health, one joint can mean the difference between getting a job or getting a bed in Anoka state hospital. There is no safe level of substance use. Only zero!

The haze might make it hard to see the truth but listening to God’s voice is never skewed by the Haze. Don’t get me wrong, you can be “tricked” to thinking what you hear is truth. But if you listen long enough, intently enough and don’t believe the lies, it gets easier every day to hear the truth of God. For some of us, it’s just harder. We have listened to so many voices and so many lies that it becomes hard to know the truth from the one in the next bedroom that is tempting you every minute, every day and every way… “Hey man, I see you are having a bad day, I can help, take a hit!”

To know the truth is to love the truth, to listen to a lie is to live life in a haze. In the haze it’s harder to know what is really going on. The smokey haze of life is like the smokey haze of substance use.

We all have a haze in our life, some is from the drugs we use and some is from the life we choose.

Today? Surrender to truth, but HOW?? Well, if you don’t know Jesus, ask him in the quiet of your heart for him to reveal the truth to you. He is there and he is GOOD. Why are you fighting his goodness? And if you “know” Jesus, what are you doing for the guy living in the haze? Have you done everything you can to help another person? Does that other person know who Jesus is? Go for a walk, beyond the limits of this hazy world and find another that is alone in that haze and help them hear the truth of God’s Love. 

In service of the one that clears the haze, C.

When the sun shines at Sam’s Place

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The sun rose quickly but was not seen, the smoke that filled the air that morning was suffocating and thick. The sun’s rays hit the sky and created a reddish glow and although the sun was there, you could only feel the heat in the air… the air… it was choking, burning and I felt weak… I thought “Am I sick?”

The AC had just been started a week earlier, and I can’t even imagine how it would have felt that day without the windows closed and AC on high. It’s an old building, I imaged how bad it would have been if the smoke had hit only a couple weeks earlier… The AC was heavenly.

The guys still ventured out from time to time but I noticed the front door squeaking less often that day. I heard one person say the air quality was the “worst recorded air quality in world history”… Was that true? I don’t know. What I do know is I was working outside all day and it was taking its toll… Buggars, I know, we don’t talk about body functions but I knew the mucus system was in overload that day, nasal passages swollen and smoke being filtered, still not enough…. It was a long day, but I was glad we had done so much to control the indoor air quality for our Guys at Sam’s Place… I will take that as a win in every way.

Thanks to some grants that helped ease the costs and made it possible: Blandin Foundation, IRRRB, Bigfork Valley Community Foundation, Spring Lake Heating and Air and more… we pooled together to make the lives of our guys safer, just in the nick of time.

I worked hard installing the 19 indoor mini-split heads, days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, the planning, research and finally the implementation…

Is it cool now? Yes.

Is the indoor air cleaner? Yes.

Are there BIG smiles from ear to ear? Yes.

Is it safer for our guys that use inhalers? YES!!

And so that story goes. A big win at Sam’s Place. Thanks to all our local supporters, grant opportunities and people that simply care, and show how much they care by HELPING Sam’s Place succeed! Making life a bit more bearable and allowing our guys to focus on getting life back on track, one cool bedroom at a time. 

In the service of the one that gave it all, C.