Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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It’s For SALE???

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An Update on My Health, Our Family, and the Future of Sam’s Place.

I had plans to write this post a bit differently, but God had other plans for us today. There are many things in life I can explain, and some I cannot. This one I hope to shed some light on.

I talked to the Dr “once the shots stop working, there is nothing else to do but replace the entire knee joint” less than a month after my last shot, I walked up the stairs to go to bed, the pain drove like I knife, deep into the leg, I barely caught myself as the leg gave out. Half way up… no hand rails, open stair case, I reached quickly and caught the floor above and stopped the fall… I made it this time. I yelped outloud, but tried to muffle the sounds, she heard me, I responded, “NOPE, I just stumbled, I am fine” but she knew. My knee is shot, and I am closing up the heating and air business to accommodate the impending surgery. I get to have the titanium knee installation… I should write a song and name it titanium…. 

I walked into the Dr office, Jess had accompanied me on this trip, the Dr said “Well, it’s cancer” My heart sank. I lost a father to cancer. I watched my mother beat cancer four times just to die from stroke complications… For the first time in my life, I faced my mortality. Jess said “It will be ok, we got this” 

Jess and I talked a lot those weeks and days that led up to a deeper understanding of what MY mortality means for us, for AL, for Sam’s Place, for grandbabies…. I remembered how horrible it was being the executor of my mothers estate, how hard it was to “DO THE RIGHT THING”… Doing my best to be fair… It was a hard job and I wondered how I could leave my life behind and make things easier for the boys… The verbal cues I got from mom were now just that, a conversation lost in the whirlwind of indecision and opinions.

If I die… When I die, how much of a mess do I leave behind? I refuse to leave a mess behind for my bride. She shouldn’t have to clean out my shop while dealing with the unthinkable. How do I set up a way for my bride to go on living? Should she have to clean out my shop? What about AL? Does he have a place to call home for the remainder of his days? What about Sam’s Place? Four years of effort and dedication on the line, if I die, does that all fall apart and go back to what it was? 

To anyone questioning our motives: This isn’t about money. This is about the survival and legacy of Sam’s Place.  Honoring what we have done and why we did it. 

Jess and I know we will never regain what we put into this endeavor, that’s a fact, but what I can do is perhaps sell the building to a person that has a reason to keep Sam’s Place alive, and healthy long after Jess and I meet Jesus face to face. I realized how much Sam’s Place needs me and Jess to continue operating and that is not what we wanted, we need somebody that can ensure this program will not fail, will not shut down, that Sam’s Place will continue to help 15 guys get healthy, stay healthy and realize the value God has endowed them with… I want to make sure that if I stumble, fall or die tomorrow, at least Sam’s Place will be safe, without me. 

In a few days, I will be posting the professional real estate details for the property. We are looking for the right person or group of investors to take the lead, ensure the longevity of our guys, and step into this mission. We are holding this up to God and laying it at His feet, asking HIM to bring the next caretaker. Please keep our guys in your prayers.

Where are “Joshua and Caleb?”

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When men stand up and be mentors to other men.

So often I see women’s groups flourish at studying the bible, helping each other out and being social… but men? I haven’t been in a men’s group for over ten years, not because I am not interested but rather because men’s groups always seem to be the same story… If your church has a men’s group, it’s likely serving widows (which is great), a basketball game on Thursdays (which is healthy) or a men’s breakfast that happens every few months (nothing wrong with this either). Or maybe I am missing something?

I had a man tell me his story about trying to start a men’s group that digs deep and studies the word of God. He was met with negativity, complicated requirements and very little encouragement from leadership… Shortly after his failed attempt, the same guys that explained how the idea was “stupid” started to develop a “men’s group”. This group did “guy stuff” shooting, fishing, sports… He watched a group of guys put together a “fun day” with a short devotional at the end, but was never asked to participate at any level… Have you ever experienced this? I did some digging and sadly I discovered this is very common.  

What is it about men? Are the only things we care about is the latest sports score? The largest walleye? And how the “buffoon” made them laugh in the last episode of “the Simpsons’ or Family Guy” or “Al Bundy insults everyone” … Is that who men have become now? 

I called some area churches a while back, asked one simple question: “Do you have any men’s groups at your church?” The answer was no, universally every church I was able to connect with and every man I asked was a simple no, and some answers sounded like they had never even heard of a men’s group to study the bible. 

December 20, 2025, I dove into a topic that is important to me, “Exploring Masculine Identity Struggles”… I cant give you all the details, but lets just say, being a man these days is definitely not “PC”… The common issues are 

  • Persistent feelings of pretending
  • Guessing rather than confident decisions
  • Anxiety about being inadequate
  • Craving order but never finding it
  • Difficulty in meeting standards for fear of criticism
  • Not being supported in emotional reactions causing shut down

In short, men need men to find healthy masculine pathways, feedback that supports growth and accountability of balance between assertiveness and softness… 

Fast forward to today, I have asked so many guys… “Would you be interested in helping us out at Sams Place by mentoring or helping lead a bible study?” Where are the men that the bible talks about with “IRON SHARPENS IRON” Where are the men of God, the strong, valiant and fierce men of God? 

Where are “Joshua and Caleb”? The man who led the Israelites across the Jordan into the promised land as leaders who serve the people and represent a model of faith, military leadership, and covenant obedience…. 

When men step out, back and down from the roles God has appointed to  them to do, things go wrong. 

Joshua and Caleb who returned and reported after 40 days of scouting: The land is good and favorable. The other ten came back and reported about the giants and there was no way to win? They had “defeated themselves” even before they started.

Are we men of God like Caleb & Joshua or the other ten, fearful of failure… that is entirely up to you. I suggest we stand up today and say “HERE AM I, SEND ME”.

We are never too messed up (like Sampson), Poor of speech (like Moses), foolish (like a talking DONKEY) or criminal (like the murderous King David) to be used by our God…

May the peace that supasses all understanding be with you today, C.

The cold has descended from the north.

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Winter sets in and reminds us to bundle our fragile bodies with arctic defying layers to protect our ever desired warmth. Oil furnaces start with a mighty puff. Lp and Natural gas furnaces start with a gentle woosh. Wood fires start with a strike of a match in the basements of so many homes. The heating season is on us like Groot on a laser light or a bouncing ball. 

Last week we took a day trip, Drax and Groot stayed at the farm as they do so many days. Playing and “protecting” the chickens from the many predators desiring a quick chicken dinner. As we arrived back home I noticed something “out of the norm”… Groot wasn’t in his normal spot and Drax was unseen. As I maneuvered into the parking spot, parking with the precision of a blind air traffic ground crew. Still no Drax. I approach the house behind Al moving at lightning speed, on a mission to check and make sure his “stuff” in his room has not disintegrated into a vapor while he was gone for hours…  I noticed a patch of blood, large, fresh and in the pattern of a paw… Two large pawed pups made the way into the house right behind Al. 

I discover Drax has a gushing wound on his paw, he is breathing rapidly and very shallow, his gums are pale and he gently lays down in front of me as if to say, “you are not walking past me dad”… I squat down, seeing a pulse of blood oozing out, I move into doctor mode “JESS, GRAB A WRAP OF SOME TYPE, NOW!” After a year’s long wait Jess comes flying around the corner with a towel and I proceed to wrap up the paw… “Direct pressure” I exclaimed “I need to get changed into something more suitable, hold this for a minute while I get changed” In my super man mode I am able to pass though walls and floors into the bedroom where I find a quick change of clothes. Now it’s time for my assistant, “Jess, change into some grubbies…”

Slide the time line forward, Drax is fully recovered and no worse for the wear. What’s with this dog? Last year he chased a plow truck and got a broken paw and bruised lung… leading to the GPS collar (may I add, that’s literally been a life saver).

Job 37:6 Doing great things which we do not comprehend.

For to the snow He says, ‘Fall on the earth,’

Job37:9,10 From the south comes the storm,

And from the north wind the cold.

From the breath of God ice is made,

And the expanse of the waters is frozen.

I thank God he protected our pup yet again this year as the winter descends like a howling wolf. It was about this same time last year Drax played tag with the plow… winter is a bit rougher in Itasca County than it was in Scott County. There is a side of appreciation to this winter wonder land. It tests a man, makes a man stop and think… God is so much bigger than our “issues” God determines the earth, spins it on its axis and draws the cold from the north, the heat from the south and measures the length of the days… He is in charge, and he is the one we lean on… 

We praise God in the dark, in the light, in the sorrow, and in the Joy.

Today is Sam’s birthday, he has been sober and clean for 1,186 days… There is joy in this thought, even when we feel sad in our loss. 

Join with me in remembering the young man I remember, Sam. How he always took time to help those less fortunate, those in need and those that didn’t fit in. His love and generosity are a guide post for us still today.

Are you feeling the winter blues? Come on, it’s too early for that. Being grumpy, upset and sad won’t change anything, but deciding to find the joy in everything sure makes things better. 

Today, continue the thanksgiving and giving thanks from last Thursday, keep it in your heart the whole year and see what the Lord will do with that… 

C.