Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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It’s For SALE???

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An Update on My Health, Our Family, and the Future of Sam’s Place.

I had plans to write this post a bit differently, but God had other plans for us today. There are many things in life I can explain, and some I cannot. This one I hope to shed some light on.

I talked to the Dr “once the shots stop working, there is nothing else to do but replace the entire knee joint” less than a month after my last shot, I walked up the stairs to go to bed, the pain drove like I knife, deep into the leg, I barely caught myself as the leg gave out. Half way up… no hand rails, open stair case, I reached quickly and caught the floor above and stopped the fall… I made it this time. I yelped outloud, but tried to muffle the sounds, she heard me, I responded, “NOPE, I just stumbled, I am fine” but she knew. My knee is shot, and I am closing up the heating and air business to accommodate the impending surgery. I get to have the titanium knee installation… I should write a song and name it titanium…. 

I walked into the Dr office, Jess had accompanied me on this trip, the Dr said “Well, it’s cancer” My heart sank. I lost a father to cancer. I watched my mother beat cancer four times just to die from stroke complications… For the first time in my life, I faced my mortality. Jess said “It will be ok, we got this” 

Jess and I talked a lot those weeks and days that led up to a deeper understanding of what MY mortality means for us, for AL, for Sam’s Place, for grandbabies…. I remembered how horrible it was being the executor of my mothers estate, how hard it was to “DO THE RIGHT THING”… Doing my best to be fair… It was a hard job and I wondered how I could leave my life behind and make things easier for the boys… The verbal cues I got from mom were now just that, a conversation lost in the whirlwind of indecision and opinions.

If I die… When I die, how much of a mess do I leave behind? I refuse to leave a mess behind for my bride. She shouldn’t have to clean out my shop while dealing with the unthinkable. How do I set up a way for my bride to go on living? Should she have to clean out my shop? What about AL? Does he have a place to call home for the remainder of his days? What about Sam’s Place? Four years of effort and dedication on the line, if I die, does that all fall apart and go back to what it was? 

To anyone questioning our motives: This isn’t about money. This is about the survival and legacy of Sam’s Place.  Honoring what we have done and why we did it. 

Jess and I know we will never regain what we put into this endeavor, that’s a fact, but what I can do is perhaps sell the building to a person that has a reason to keep Sam’s Place alive, and healthy long after Jess and I meet Jesus face to face. I realized how much Sam’s Place needs me and Jess to continue operating and that is not what we wanted, we need somebody that can ensure this program will not fail, will not shut down, that Sam’s Place will continue to help 15 guys get healthy, stay healthy and realize the value God has endowed them with… I want to make sure that if I stumble, fall or die tomorrow, at least Sam’s Place will be safe, without me. 

In a few days, I will be posting the professional real estate details for the property. We are looking for the right person or group of investors to take the lead, ensure the longevity of our guys, and step into this mission. We are holding this up to God and laying it at His feet, asking HIM to bring the next caretaker. Please keep our guys in your prayers.

The Lone Traveler, moving on?

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Today was a cool 48 degrees as we called out “Ready to go?” He walked out with nothing in hand, looking like a stuffed winter coat and new shoes. “Just a minute, I am almost ready” he replied as I made room for his personal belongings in the back of the car. “Ok, I will go get your meds packed up, Thanks for being ready to go, I have to make a Dr appointment in rapids by 8:30 this morning.”

A few minutes later I had all his meds packaged up, the black bag was full but not overflowing. “Can I grab a quick smoke before we head out?” I simply replied “sure, we are still ahead of schedule a bit”. He casually walked back after a few pulls on his hand rolled cigarette. “Ok, you got everything? Do you need help carrying anything?” confidently he replied “NOPE, I have everything I want!”  Knowing this man, I knew not to ask too many questions, he gets a bit frustrated with questions and leading conversation…. “OK, Let’s roll!”

The 1 hour trip was calm, a bit of chatter but nothing too deep, I asked what his plan was. He told me he has a plan and he would rather not talk about it, so I left it alone. I asked one more question as we drove down the scenic hwy 38… Do you need anything? 

This man came to us as a mess, medical bills, legal issues, no plan, no ID…. It was about 6 months ago, we helped him get things figured out, I drove him to the court house to get his legal matters fixed, that was a two hour drive one way, I got to know this man and he was a pretty decent fellow, his life story was so much like my own, troubled youth in the cities, stayed out of the big stuff, kept his head down usually… but he had some pretty significant troubles, I recognized the look, the despair and frustration. But in the end, he is a man, made in the image of God, redeemable by the blood of Jesus and infinitely valuable. 

Jess did the most work on getting his life straightened out, countless phone calls to the county, the SS office, State offices, Mountains of paper work, and finally it was all good to go… now he was moving out… He is moving on? “Where can I drop you off?” the quiet voice replied “Just drop me at walmart, I will get around from there!” and in no time, I was pulling into Walmart parking lot “I want you to know something, Jess and I have been praying for you from the first day you moved in, and we will continue to pray for you as long as we are able, Have a good one” and with a quick thank you, he stepped out, closed the  door and crossed over behind the car. I pulled away, we both started to cry, of coarse Jess had big sad, wet eyes and I sucked it up so I wouldn’t crash the car.

Jess and I hadn’t even gotten to the end of the parking lot… “I can’t believe that! All he wanted was his meds? No clothes? No personal effects of any type?” back at Sam’s Place he had neatly washed, folded and put everything away in his room, but he only brought what was on his back. I was reminded of what Job said in his deepest despair “Naked I came into this world, and naked I will go out of this world” This man left us the exact same way he came to us, WITH NOTHING!

Rumor has it he was headed to a homeless shelter in St Paul somewhere, he travels light and fast, wanting only to be left alone, ignored and helped only when he asks for it… The lone traveler. 

Jess asked me “Why? Why would a man choose to be homeless? On the streets? With absolutely nothing?” I can’t answer that question, but I can tell you how he got there…. Pain!

As I close this emotional blog post, I ask you, my christian brothers and sister, pray for this man and all the men that have felt pain so deep and so often, they only trust this pain, the one thing they have learned is abundant and always available.  Ask God to watch over him, protect him and change his heart of stone to one of flesh… it’s never too late, and prayer isn’t the only thing left to do, it’s the first thing we ought to do. 

God’s speed my friend. C

PS. Forgive my absence, we have nbeen very busy… and GRANDBABIES!!

Captain’s Log

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Captain’s Log: August 26, 2026

I was leading a group the other day at Sam’s Place. The topic was “gratitude and positive thinking,” and then I was tested…. Oh boy, was I tested. I tried really hard to practice what I preach, but I am pretty sure I failed hard! Let’s set the stage for the few weeks leading up to Wednesday, August 26.

Captain’s Log: Star Date June 29, 2026

The Great White Van had been drifting in space for over a week. The Sam’s Place van is back on line? The new month is coming, and the guys always have spending money on the first of the month. It burns holes in their pockets and makes grown men shake with unbridled excitement. Chris, Tiffain, and CJ are coming this weekend, and we want the Great White Van online to take them places as one big group.

I got a new fuel pump after a long, painful process of determining the right part—which should be easy, but wasn’t. The pump arrives, but a tab is broken. I’m in a crunch for time, so I zip-tie it and away we go! Pressing the tank off my chest, holding it with one hand and starting the bolts with the other, all goes well. Next, I drop five gallons of gas back in—after a day of tasting gasoline from the primitive siphoning I did the day before—and it’s a wrap.

Crank… no start. Try to bleed the line, crank… no start. Bleed and bleed, nothing is coming. I can hear the pump, but there is no gas. Troubleshooting proves the pump makes noise but won’t actually pump. Drop the tank, order a new pump, wait another week for it to arrive, and start over. Press the tank off my chest, hold with one hand, screw with the other, and it’s done in no time. Crank… no start. Bleed it out, crank… and it starts up! Good to go. Feeling thankful, I move on to the next problematic miracle I need to perform!

Captain’s Log: Star Date July 5, 2026

After a fierce fight with the Great White Van, Scotty was able to repair the warp drive, and everything is peaceful and calm. Jessica, our first mate, will be taking the Great White Van to Deer River VBS from time to time. I will be taking the guys to doctor appointments, and Tuesday we will be taking a group to a Tuesday matinee… In the Great White Van!!!

Captain’s Log: Star Date July 10, 2026

The first day of VBS, and the Great White Van blows out a spark plug. I (the Captain) am on an important mission of survival and call for a nearby repair shop to tow it back to dry dock for investigation. After a long day of digging, Scotty discovered the reactor core had blown out the maximum number of times allowed before a new head must be installed. Funny, I don’t remember being told that when I bought this $9,000 paperweight! A Great White Van with new tires now needs a head replacement. I am trying to sell the Great White Van for only $2,500, maybe get back a bit of my initial investment, but it’s not going well.

Captain’s Log: Star Date July 16, 2026

The ship is limping, but we have been able to keep it together for the week of VBS. Now we need to evaluate the situation. We are taking a trip to the Deep South to visit grandbabies and will continue to evaluate options. Steady as she goes!

Captain’s Log: Star Date July 24, 2026

It’s the birthday of our youngest. We called and saw her smile yet again. Make ready the mainsail, lads! We have a long week but a strong wind. If all goes well, we should be in port by the weekend.

Captain’s Log: Star Date August 26, 2026 – 1:27 PM

The first mate came down ill today, so the Captain took charge of the helm. No worries, mate. Stay home, enjoy a quiet birthday, and just know: I got this! I will take my work truck into town for one of the guys’ appointments and pick up some parts on the way.

Then, disaster strikes. Captain has been stuck, I am listing on the port side and taking on a great deal of water. The work truck is dead. The brakes are stuck on and smoking. I’m not sure if I will make it back to shore, but I will never give up. I know the sea never gives up her dead, so we fight.

So, back to being grateful… I was grumping and not in a good mood. My wife’s birthday (August 26 that I had mentioned at the beginning) was now my bane. I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t plan this, and you certainly deserved that coffee I was planning on getting you, as well as a couple of other small items. “WHY ME?” I cried out in a loud voice.

My Savior’s reply was sweet and kind: “My grace is sufficient for you both.”

I spent the rest of today getting most of my gear into the “box truck”. I am grateful I have a backup truck to slip into. I’m still working on that whole “positive thinking” part, I trust that too, will come in time. 

Humbled and satisfied in the grace of our God.

— C.