Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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Judge not ye scumbags

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Is it an easy thing to point out other people’s faults? Intellectuall honesty means we should be able to see our own faults with more clarity?  If this is true, why am I so blind to identify my own shortcomings? What does the bible say about this?

Matthew 7:3-5 talks about self examination so that you can rightly judge others, it does not say to not judge others but rather, examine yourself first… 

Luke 6:41-42 Talks again about a small fault in another person while ignoring a massive fault in your own life. Again, not saying to ignore another persons fault, but rather examine self in an honest and intellectual manner FIRST

Hypocrisy of looking at another persons faults instead of your own and clear instruction to first do this self examination so you can examine another without deception and bias, leads us to see a clear path.  

Constant & honest self-assessment is required to avoid self-deception and to ensure we are living according to faith (2 Corinthians 13:5).

Rather than hiding flaws, making cheap excuses for your own faults, Christians are commanded and urged to perform self “fault finding” and then to resolve that fault before helping others… So in a way, it’s putting self first? 

Paul admits his own struggles in Romans 7:15-24

We are told to confess sins to one another James 5:16

The old saying (para phrased) “Judge not! Least ye be judged” leaves out the next part “For in the same manner you judge others is how you too shall be judged”

On this Mothers-Day, let’s seek forgiveness, let’s self examine, let’s restore our honesty to self. 

Moms are never perfect, but neither are kids and husbands and brothers and sisters and dads and wives and ALL HUMANS. 

In loving memory of my mother who struggled her entire life with the idea of judgement & forgiveness. I thank the Lord he made this clear to her in the year 2009, when she was released from the oppressive  terms of “JUDGE NOT” and “FORGIVE AND FORGET” by opening her bible with me and reading the scriptures for what they really had to say. 

Happy Mothers day to my dear mother, who is now dancing in heaven

And to my loving bride who finds she needs to forgive my way too often.

In journey with Christ, and his love. C.

The thankless job

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Jess and I struggle from time to time with the thankless job of providing. Yes, it’s thankless, almost always. It got me thinking today as I was feeling “grumpy” and hurt about not getting thanked this week.  

I remembered the story of a man (let’s call him Jim) who helped his neighbor (lets call him Bob). Bob was sick, Jim cut his lawn without being asked. As Bob continued to be sick for some time, Jim just kept cutting the lawn. Week after week, grass turned to snow shovelling, and eventually back to lawn care. At first there were some random thank-yous and words of appreciation. Slowly that faded into smiles and nods but eventually that even disappeared. It just became “what Jim did”. The next winter Jim noticed Bob was doing more activities. One day Jim noticed Bob’s car loaded up with skis and winter accessories. The next weekend Bob was loaded up to go snowmobiling. Jim had never asked for anything in return, he just helped Bob, that was it. Jim had felt compassion for Bob in a time of need. 

The next snowfall came, Jim left the snow on Bob’s driveway and sidewalk. Jim didn’t clear the snow from the snowplow either. Jim simply cleared his own and left the neighbors as is… Bob opened the garage door that fate-filled morning and with how deep the snow was on the driveway, he couldn’t get to work… With great indignance, Bob stormed over and launched a formal complaint on the front step of Jim’s home. Bob cited how he was going to be late for work because of the inept behavior of Jim. “How can you treat me so poorly!” Bob bellowed through the door as to make sure his words would pass Jims wife and clearly reach Jim’s selfish ears! Everyone in the neighborhood would now be clear on how worthless a fellow Jim was… not clearing the driveway in a timely manner…. TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE! 

As Bob stormed off back home, he saw Jim’s wife walking over, winter boots, parka and a snow shovel. Bob spun around, rised his voice…. starting his rant about how lazy her husband must be to send his wife out to do his job… She simply replied “I’m sorry for my husband’s neglect, I will be handling the snow removal from now on, you see, Jim had a heart attack this morning before he got to your driveway and he died.”

I know this is a made up story about a man that was in need and came to expect and feel entitled to Jim’s labor, but how often do we do that same thing? Ohh I’m sure the names are different, and the expectations are different.  It may be “Snap” or maybe it’s called “public benefits”, “Economic assistance” or “Financial assistance”… or maybe it is snow removal or lawn mowing…  

My point is this, if we are doing something out of the goodness of our hearts, we should give like Jim’s wife gave. The goodness of our giving should always point to the goodness of God who gave more than any person can give… God gave us what we don’t deserve. And keeps giving. 

God gave us eternal life, how do we repay God? Do we go skiing? Do we go snowmobiling? Do we make sure to catch the big game on Sunday morning? Do we become indignant when we feel like we deserve More? Or do we shovel our neighbor’s driveway, expecting nothing in return? Do we go to church? Do we read his word? Do we want to get to know God? Invite God over to our house? I know I don’t give God all he deserves, how about you?

Find someone today, say thank you. Then find that dusty old bible, read Proverb chapter1 verse 7.

Give thanks today because you have a lot to be thankful for, and let somebeody who helps you know they are appreciated.

In the service of our Lord, C.

Is it a battle of the mind, and the soul?

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It was Easter weekend, we anticipated the arrival of two grands and the four parents and one special other-grandmother … Ham, Potatoes, Green bean casserole… so much food! We had been prepping and buying and making ready, and we had big plans. The weather started to shift and we were caught in a vicious winter storm that would end everything…  The snow storm hit and we were inundated with so much, now extra, food…. More than I could manage, and it all needed to be cooked and made ready…But now our guests, grands & kids are staying home…NO GUESTS, but food enough for 20… If we didn’t finish preparing it, it would all go bad…

 It’s now been 3 full weeks. That Easter Sunday hit more like MOAB (mother of all bombs) and the shock wave still isn’t over. The season of stress as we continue to work through the pain, wave after miserable wave.

The snow stopped and Jess started to have a low grade persistent fever, every day, all day, up to 102…  after 4 days we went to the ER… A few tests, nothing, just go home and wait… 

Next was the doctor at the clinic, just a few days later…A bunch more tests,  just go home and see if it keeps troubling you… 

A few more days have passed and … Back to the ER… a team of testing and monitoring, Just go home and see….

A few more days, I demanded to see someone,  anyone in internal medicine…. We still know nothing

Blood tests, CT scan, more blood tests, urine tests, blood tests, referrals, tests, draw more blood, pokes, prodding, BP cuffs and O2 readings… Tick borne, meningitis, kidney and liver and bladder and UTI and heart and lungs and blood …. nothing….

A referral to one specialist… “ok we have you set to see the Dr in November”… WHAT????

Another specialist was August… ARE YOU KIDDING??

Primary care Dr was only in mid May? No wait, that appointment just got taken while we talked, now it’s late May…. Ummm, she can’t wait that long, she can barely get out of bed… It’s mid April, and that’s a month out.

Three weeks of “nothing”, Jess is just starting to feel a bit better. She can only be on her feet for short periods, then it’s time to sit down. I had the privilege of coming home a couple nights ago and found Jess making dinner. She looked so tired and weak. I could see in her eyes, she was beat and exhausted, making dinner was too much. This took out anything she had left, she was empty physically. Jess just fell into my arms and said “I don’t want to be sick anymore.”  I held her and we cried together. 

I’m tired. I don’t want her to drive still because she gets so tired, I don’t know how quick her reflexes are on these deer covered roads… so we push on. 

This entire thing is because of me, I’m convinced of that. You see, a few days before she got so sick, I had to tell her some rather distasteful news… “Jess, the Dr called and I have cancer”… she went dead silent, we had been stressed all day about some problems at Sam’s Place and we hadn’t really been treating each other in the most mindful way… Stress had wiggled into our relationship and we both became easily offended… How stupid is that? The person we trust the most, and we get snotty with each other… Neither of us had done anything “BIG”, it was just that stupid stuff like putting the toilet paper on backwards or not putting the steak knives away “correct”… 

And then the cancer. I’m as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the “bad” kind, but it was the first time either of us had been diagnosed with something this dramatic. The prognosis is excellent, we caught it early, but it’s still cancer. 

I find it hard this week to keep a positive outlook… I know the word of God tells us to trust him, and that he is dependable. It’s easy to intellectually see the situation and know God is in control… But then there is the weak, sinful part of me that screams out “ENOUGH, I CANT TAKE THIS MUCH!!” and I realize, Jesus on the night he was betrayed, showed love for his enemies, and he gave his life so that his enemies might have eternal life…

I struggle with negative thoughts. WOE IS ME! God Forgive this foolish man and draw us into the joy of our LORD. 

Trusting God though the fire today, C.