Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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My secret is I have battled anxiety for years.

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Many times we hear how everyone needs therapy for anxiety, but is that what we really need? Is therapy a good idea? Is therapy a dark hole that consumes us? Your opinion matters.

Recently I have been looking into this matter a bit deeper, it actually started on a Monday morning at Sam’s Place in our wisdom study… Proverbs… 

Pr 14:23 

In all labor there is profit,

But mere talk leads only to poverty 

Talking non stop about our problems can keep us so focused on our problems that we can never get past our problems… I am a very “feely” guy, I can empathize with almost anyone and it’s almost like I can feel the pain they feel, BUT… There also comes a time when sympathy is counter productive. Talk is cheap. Speak with your actions. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps… 

You absolutely can not change the past, but you can direct your future… to be stuck in the past, looping over and over and never moving ahead is a deadly trap of anxiety and depression. 

The bible says to take every thought captive. So ask yourself this question: Do you want your thoughts to control you? Or do you want to control your thoughts? Anxiety has two basic components 1- thoughts and 2-feelings… Can you change your thoughts? Can you change your feelings? If the answer is no to either of these questions, you believe a lie… the answer is definitely yes. You can change thoughts and feelings. Are all thoughts good? Productive? Positive? Are all feelings good? Productive? Positive? This answer is absolutely NO. 

God gives us such a clear direction in this area of “WORRY”  or “ANXIETY” ohh I know, you have been told “It’s not your fault that you have anxiety.” Please ask yourself this question: Can you  have anxiety when you have positive & productive thoughts?

But maybe, you have been told anxiety is a chemical imbalance …. But it can not be measured? so how much “imballance”.

Has anyone ever said that anxiety will just go away by continuing to entertain negative thoughts about what might happen? Or is the focus always “Take a pill and call me in the morning”… Is the “cure” to anxiety thought control?

Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe there is a place for the little pill, but I have yet to see anyone “cure” anxiety by taking a pill. I have seen the pills destroy lives, numb emotions and make people so dependent on big pharma that they will never get off the pills… but I have personally had success helping others, I have personally seen others have success and I am currently seeing myself experience success by believing in GODS word… and especially one small verse… This changed my life. I was on the edge of the cliff, literally anxiety was ending my earthly life and God revealed one verse to me… 

“and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” in this verse we are not talking about anxiety directly but rather it is about spiritual war fare, it talks about the power of war that is not physical but rather in the spiritual world…  but the command is still… “TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE”  so, controlling thoughts is reasonably assumed as attainable?  YES! And if we are capable of taking crazy, run away, overwhelming thoughts captive… Well, I believed God’s word! I did it… this was and still is not easy, it takes days, weeks, months and years of discipline at the minute and hourly level. 

I know it’s not easy, but neither is eating an elephant, if you decide to eat it in one bite! So take it one day, one minute, or maybe one decision at a time. Make that effort once, and repeat… have you ever noticed that one person that is always a joy to be around? Do they only think about themselves? NO… A wise man once said “It is impossible to be anxious unless you are thinking about yourself” so does that mean the answer is to not think about yourself? No, that is not the answer, let me explain with a self exercise:

Please close your eyes for 10 seconds or so and think about an elephant, big grey, long tusks, standing in the corner of the room, ears waving, kicking up dust… now close your eyes and picture it, get as many details as you can in 10-30 seconds with your eyes closed, do it now, don’t open your eyes, just picture your elephant, I will wait, please don’t read the next paragraph until you have done this simple request, don’t cheat yourself on this…. 

Ok, you did that? Now picture the elephant again, but this time when you close your eyes… dont think about your elephant, dont think about anything else, just stop thinking about the elephant for 5 seconds, remember, don’t think about the elephant, close your eyes and force yourself to not think about the elephant… 5 seconds only and then continue to read my post… ok go!

It’s impossible to “not think about the elephant” but if you are good at controlling your thoughts, you know the trick! The trick to not thinking about the elephant is not will power, it’s simply thinking about something else, try it! Need an object to think about? Think about a giraffe, or pick anything… Ready? Think!… 

See, you did it! Replace your “self thought” that creates anxiety with “thinking about others”

Today? Take that thought captive, just once, ask how it felt, and then repeat! Repeat this until you make it a habit. You may need some help from others, find a good Christian friend that understands this concept and practices it and they will help you learn the secret to overcome anxiety… It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. 

Meanwhile, I will pray you find success, like I have… not perfectly but maybe  just a little bit and then “REPEAT”

In service to the KING! C.

You CAN, a tribute of honor to those that DID

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I wrote this to our guys at Sam’s Place and decided to share it with you as well.

Two hundred and fifty years ago, a group of imperfect people made a bold decision to choose freedom and build a nation based on resilience and the pursuit of happiness.

Today, right here in Bigfork, you are fighting that exact same battle.

Recovery from addiction isn’t about being perfect; it is about taking responsibility, practicing how to build personal grit, and making one small change today for a brighter tomorrow.

One small choice, that is how it started for Jess and Myself, The right choice, one at a time.

You are building the foundation for your own personal “Declaration of Independence”. 

Every morning you wake up and put one foot in front of the other at Sam’s Place, you are choosing to reclaim your life. 

When you overcome just one hurdle, when you turn away from that negative person in your life and replace the person that would lead you to using again with someone that makes better choices and then lean on this community, you are proving that you can beat the power of addiction.  You can win, if you want your life back!

This nation’s 250th birthday reminds all of us what’s possible. America was built on the belief that hard work matters and that transformation is always within reach. You are the master designers of your own future.

Keep showing up for yourself. Do you have the courage it takes to say no? Do you have the courage of our forefathers to get life back on track? Do you want to survive, or thrive? 

You have the strength to rebuild your life. I know each of you can make that better choice today, because you are not the first to battle this and win, thousands of guys have gone before you to show you the way.

Happy Birthday America, and here is to your bright, free from addiction future.

In service to the savior, C.

When sadness turns to joy

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Google says this: A lament is a passionate expression of grief, sorrow, or regret. It can be a deep emotional feeling, a spoken complaint, or a formal artistic work like a mournful poem or song.

A passionate expression: Vivid, heartfelt articulation of intense emotion. Deep love, Fiery anger, or Unwavering zeal. It transcends calm, everyday speech, using vibrant vocabulary, body language, or art to convey a sense of fervor and profound commitment. 

Grief, Sorrow or regret: Emotional response to loss and mistakes.

I think of this when I read the bible about the days of Noah, when God said 

Genesis 6: 6 The Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.  

God’s Lament was not over his mistake, perhaps a loss?… The pain, the sorrow… His creation had turned away and due to man’s desire to sin, caused harm to self… The very creation that was given to man to steward! 

I see the world today through a different set of eyes than I did as a child, and rightfully so. I remember walking past “Venturas Gym” where Jesse “The Body” would pull in to park his 280 Z. A huge man in a tiny car… This reminds me of a cartoon where an oversized “Brutus” is squeezed into a micro car. The “MONSTERS” that worked out there as I shuffled over to Fritz Rubers bakeshop to wash the day’s baking trays. I remember “Marjorie” driving her AMC Pacer. I remember the day me and my “buddies” slipped into the basement window of that bakery on 44th, into the bathroom located in the basement, up the stairs and eating day-old doughnuts because we were stoned and  I was looking for trouble.  

I remember the unkind words we “kids” would yell out at Ventura whenever we saw him pull up in front of the gym he built. The stories of steroids, sweat and Iron… I believe it was a Domino pizza once, no clue what’s there now. Across the street was the Baskin robins, 31 flavors ice cream where I had the most profound experience with paranoia. The police stopped in and ignored the kid freaking out in the desk by the window, moments earlier this kid was almost hit by a car as he stumbled across 44th… my “friends” had given me something, without me knowing, I ignorantly smoked it.

I wish I could say that day started my road of Lament, but I had so many more years of struggles in front of me. 

That corner holds some of the most powerful memories in my life, most are filled with Lament, in-fact, I can not remember any that are not reasons for lament. 

But why do I bring up “Lament” today? I was talking to my brother about the repeal of a ban on “Bath Houses” in MPLS and I remembered as a young man of maybe 16-17, walking down Lake Street after taking the 5 Line from the northside… I was on my way to attend a drivers training course (pursuing a Drivers License). I walked past a “bath house” as a few men stumbled in and out… My naivety was rich and I strolled past as if all was well… one man asked if I wanted to join him inside, I thought it was odd but had no idea what it was about… I do now of course. 

Nameless, faceless, strangers… desperately,  lust driven adults attempting to coerce a young boy for one purpose, ignorant to the world’s desire to destroy my life… I strolled on and gave it not a second of thought until years later when the memory flashed back during my days of driving a garbage truck serving the south side… I can still see that building with windows boarded over and a neon sign saying “open”

I lament now but I wonder what could have happened if I was stoned or drunk that day… God brought me through and I was never inside that dark building, but years later I had to fix an AC system in a different building, a building that was also locked up, boarded up and only entrance by escort of a BIG DUDE!! I went to the basement and it was an easy fix, all went well… but I never forgot the faces I saw, the sounds I heard and the feeling I got in that place.

I lament over much more these days but I also feel God’s hand on my life.

I know I have seen more than most. But I have also know God preserved more than most. My Life is filled with God’s protections and the prayers of many, including my mother. 

Needless to say, I am saddened by the city of Minneapolis moving forward to bring back the bath houses in the city I grew up in. This is not an improvement. As Joe Soucheray said on his podcast “I don’t know why any young person would stay in Minnesota” 

When the founders came to this land, they were not looking to displace anyone, they were not looking to take advantage of anything there was available, they were escaping the tyranny of an oppressive and persecuting Government. They escaped looking for freedom, now years later, that same freedom is soaked up in the sewer of lust, in a land that despises the creator and worships the creation. 

Although I have little hope I will see a revival and a submission to the Lord of our nation in my lifetime, I feel blessed in knowing that every knee will bend in humble submission to the King of Kings. 

Lamenting the loss of truth in our nation, hope is found in Christ alone and He will reign in the end over everything… For he created all there is that has been created.

Hope and joy to you. God Bless, C.