Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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Why I am always the perfect one!

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I remember a man who assumed he knew what I was saying, but he didn’t. In fact he believed my intentions were very bad. He felt attacked, personally attacked and never once did he ask qualifying questions until the end of the conversation. But, I was done! I regained control of the conversation and tried to make it very clear that he was assuming the wrong intent… By then, the conversation went from a civil dialogue to outright hostility.

I’ve noticed that my communication style seems to spawn this reaction too often… yet I honestly believe I assume the best of a person until they have proven the opposite. So, I guess I am the perfect one!

Why is it this way? When I talk to customers, I seem to do very well. I communicate clearly, informatively, and completely. I seldom have a hostile situation with customers, strangers and business… BUT, personal life is very different many times. I can only assume that the way I talk to those in the “inner” circle is different? Or do we make assumptions in the way we receive information from our closer friends? 

This got me thinking. Do we find grace as people get closer or do we increase our expectations of being talked to in a particular manner? Do we automatically determine the closer we are the more offensive a person should be to us? 

“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK PLAINLY TO ME! I WILL NOW ASSUME YOU ARE MY ENEMY, AND FURTHERMORE, YOU ARE NOW TRYING TO START A FIGHT WITH ME… FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL BE TALKING TO ME WITH HIDDEN MEANINGS AND EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS NOW A HORRIBLE ATTACK ON MY VERY EXISTENCE”

What an odd scenario, I must find a way to talk to those I care about in a way that is not offensive yet plainly spoken when I see a stronghold on those I care for… Jesus said something about this:

Mark 6:4 Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household.”

Could Jesus define this phenomena? I believe he wrote this for a specific reason, he wanted us to know that those who know you the best, tolerate you the least… How odd! You prove for years you have good intentions, always and still, and yet your intent is now assumed to be that of an enemy. 

Don’t get me wrong, I too judge others intentions by the words. Yet as for myself, I am perfect, so I judge my words by my intentions.….. My intentions are always measured by myself, your intentions are also measured by me.. I can perfectly measure my intentions every time, so obviously that makes us experts on measuring everyone else’s intentions as well… 

My message for you today is to start assuming the best in others and when you start to feel like someone close is “attacking” or perhaps “criticizing” you, stop, take a good look, seek first to understand and then to be understood.

James 1:19 You know this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger;

Proverbs 18:13 One who gives an answer before he hears,
It is foolishness and shame to him.

Generally, ask this before you assume and become angered “This person I am talking to, are they my friend, do I trust they care about me? Are they invested in my life? Am I trying to just pick a fight because I don’t like what they are saying? Am I just being a snowflake? And lastly…. Is the person I am talking to from Generation X, because if they are, they probably don’t do the following:

  • Talking in circles means repeating the same point without making progress or getting to the core issue.
  • Beating around the bush means avoiding the main topic or being evasive, often due to discomfort or fear of directness. 

And they likely communicate within the following parameters:

  • Concise and clear: They get to the point efficiently and avoid unnecessary words or details.
  • Direct: They address the issue at hand directly and honestly.
  • Forthright: They express their ideas or needs openly and candidly.
  • Frank: They are open and honest in their communication.
  • To the point: They focus on the essential information rather than tangents. 

In essence, these individuals value efficiency, clarity, and directness in their communication. 

Please don’t become offended, but rather value frankness and assume the best of intentions. The person you are talking to is likely very passionate and cares deeply, otherwise, they won’t waste time talking to you.

And if you are like me, stop being so “efficient” these are people not computer programs you are talking to… FEELINGS MATTER, at least to them. 

As always, God Bless, C.

DAD’S day

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When is a good dad great?

On fathers day, I wanted to look at and understand the complexities of a good father vs a great father. 

A good father loves

A great father loves

A good father says “I love you”

A great father says “I love you”

A good father provides

A great father provides

A good father supports

A great father supports

A good father is present

A great father is present

A good father is a positive role model

A great father is a positive role model

A good father is a friend to his kids

A great father is a great friend to his kids

All in all, there are many principles to be followed in these statements, and none of them are bad, they are all levels of good fathering…

Dr Google says :

The key difference [between a good and great father] lies in the level of active engagement and the depth of the relationship with their children. 

The world is measured by the world, and basically the difference is found in the “degree of goodness” a father has for his kids. 

“A good father is good to his kids and a great father is gooder to his kids”

But the bible sees it very differently… The bible says “fathers” with no distinction between “good” and “great”. So what does it mean to be a father in the bible? Here are a few key illustrations from scripture:

raising them in the Lord’s instruction

 guiding children towards a right path

 righteous and wise, highlighting the impact of a father’s example

 leading with reverence for God

You can clearly see the Bible has turned the relationship of

“father / child”

to

“father/God, child/God, father/child”

and does not talk about the child and father without God, a great father is a three way relationship putting God at the center and father/child on each side.

“father/GOD/child”

If you want to be a good father, be good to your kids, if you want to be a great father, be gooder to your kids but if you want to be the father you are called to be… put God in that relationship first and always point back to God. 

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?

If you think you are a good father, God says you are actually evil (by comparison or actually evil by human standards, it matters not). “evil” and you still make good choices for your kids…

A godly father should be our goal, not a good father and not a great father. We should be friendly, not friends. We should be models, not peers. We should be God focused, not person focused. Take back the role of father today and serve your children well, teach them in the ways of the Lord first. 

May God richly bless your sacrificial service to your family today as you discover God’s sacrificial service to you. 

Special side note: There are a group of men that give extra, not all are “GOOD” but remember the “step fathers” who make a decision every day to be a father to a child that usually rejects that man daily, remember those men that “step in” as a father…

C

The despair that comes from strength.

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When I am strong, I fail, when I am weak, I am strong!

God gave me a strong body, that body is definitely breaking down and starting to fail… The morning pains associated with waking up. The knee that needs injections. The hands that once turned oil filters. The shoulders that pop and crackle. The eyes that once saw clearly. It’s no lie that youth is wasted on the young.

 If I knew then, what I know now, I would not be the man I am. Instead, I would be a different man that does not know what I know now.

One life lesson I am still learning is trusting God to always do what is good and right! 

About two weeks ago Jess and I hit a bump in the road with a situation at Sam’s Place. I wont get into the details, but it discouraged us greatly… We started to question the WHAT, WHY, WHEN, and HOW… Looking into all our alternatives, questioning God himself, asking God… are we hearing your voice? Is this still what you are asking of us? And then, three days ago… I sent Jess this text:

 “Do you think our discouragement about Sam’s Place is because it’s a satanic attack?”

Low and behold, My asking that question has changed our hearts almost overnight. The situation changed dramatically, we got some news that helped us to realize God is still bigger than our issues… God let us know we had been operating in our own strength and we needed to pray more and lean on him more, and so… reclining back, into his arms, we now step forward with his strength.

I am indestructible, unstoppable and in control! Until God destroys my plans, stops me in my tracks and removes me from the operators panel of my life… Jesus regains the lead and I once again, I get out of the driver’s seat, taking my proper place as the tour guide, on the bus that Jesus is driving.  Jesus determines why, where, when and how that bus is operated and I simply tell others about what is outside the  windows of that wonderful tour bus. 

Its difficult to be given the role of “leader” in the Hazzard family tree… Hazzard men are strong, fearless, determined and focused, that leads to being the most important person on the planet! Imagine being so strong that you become blind to restraint! I was once told… “Manly strength is the power to do so much, yet restraining that power for the good of everyone but yourself”… self sacrifice for the good of others? BUT I LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF ME! Like the great words of agent Smith…

ME, ME, and also ME!

How easily I can turn from God and lean on my own understanding, forsaking the words of Jesus “I will never leave you or forsake you” 

How quickly I forget that Jesus has mended my broken heart, held tight the ropes of unbelief, lifted me out of the sewage in my very own Kidron Valley. 

Jess and I are on track again, the unstoppable team with the unstoppable dream. Now, I start playing in a new arena… FUNDRAISING. I know, this is the part that makes you want to avoid me. Do you remember playing “hide and seek”? I was excellent at finding others, not so good at hiding, so, with no further ado… “ready or not, here I come” I am coming in strong. Like it or not, I’m comin in hot. I am asking for donations, and I have God on my side! Or should I say, I am on GOD’S side? 

Today I officially started the unofficial fundraising at Sam’s Place! What are the goals we have to achieve:

Adding Air conditioning for our residents’ comfort during the hot times of the year.

Adding an elevator

Replacing the ramp that meets ADA for our residents safety. 

Updating the kitchen.

Exterior upgrades like paint & awnings.

A van to help residents get to appointments. 

Pavilion for smoking. Away from the building. 

Operational costs of programs that integrate community involvement.

Upgrade our security system.

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Visit us today on the web and contact us. Help us make a home for someone in need.

Welcome to the Sam’s Place family located in the great north woods of Minnesota:

Sam’s Place

200 Huskie Blvd

c/o PO Box 313

Bigfork, MN 56628

218-256-9154

samsplacebf@gmail.com

https://www.samsplacenorth.com

https://www.facebook.com/p/Sams-Place-61559249289857

Thank you, Charlie.