Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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Why I am always the perfect one!

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I remember a man who assumed he knew what I was saying, but he didn’t. In fact he believed my intentions were very bad. He felt attacked, personally attacked and never once did he ask qualifying questions until the end of the conversation. But, I was done! I regained control of the conversation and tried to make it very clear that he was assuming the wrong intent… By then, the conversation went from a civil dialogue to outright hostility.

I’ve noticed that my communication style seems to spawn this reaction too often… yet I honestly believe I assume the best of a person until they have proven the opposite. So, I guess I am the perfect one!

Why is it this way? When I talk to customers, I seem to do very well. I communicate clearly, informatively, and completely. I seldom have a hostile situation with customers, strangers and business… BUT, personal life is very different many times. I can only assume that the way I talk to those in the “inner” circle is different? Or do we make assumptions in the way we receive information from our closer friends? 

This got me thinking. Do we find grace as people get closer or do we increase our expectations of being talked to in a particular manner? Do we automatically determine the closer we are the more offensive a person should be to us? 

“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK PLAINLY TO ME! I WILL NOW ASSUME YOU ARE MY ENEMY, AND FURTHERMORE, YOU ARE NOW TRYING TO START A FIGHT WITH ME… FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL BE TALKING TO ME WITH HIDDEN MEANINGS AND EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS NOW A HORRIBLE ATTACK ON MY VERY EXISTENCE”

What an odd scenario, I must find a way to talk to those I care about in a way that is not offensive yet plainly spoken when I see a stronghold on those I care for… Jesus said something about this:

Mark 6:4 Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household.”

Could Jesus define this phenomena? I believe he wrote this for a specific reason, he wanted us to know that those who know you the best, tolerate you the least… How odd! You prove for years you have good intentions, always and still, and yet your intent is now assumed to be that of an enemy. 

Don’t get me wrong, I too judge others intentions by the words. Yet as for myself, I am perfect, so I judge my words by my intentions.….. My intentions are always measured by myself, your intentions are also measured by me.. I can perfectly measure my intentions every time, so obviously that makes us experts on measuring everyone else’s intentions as well… 

My message for you today is to start assuming the best in others and when you start to feel like someone close is “attacking” or perhaps “criticizing” you, stop, take a good look, seek first to understand and then to be understood.

James 1:19 You know this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger;

Proverbs 18:13 One who gives an answer before he hears,
It is foolishness and shame to him.

Generally, ask this before you assume and become angered “This person I am talking to, are they my friend, do I trust they care about me? Are they invested in my life? Am I trying to just pick a fight because I don’t like what they are saying? Am I just being a snowflake? And lastly…. Is the person I am talking to from Generation X, because if they are, they probably don’t do the following:

  • Talking in circles means repeating the same point without making progress or getting to the core issue.
  • Beating around the bush means avoiding the main topic or being evasive, often due to discomfort or fear of directness. 

And they likely communicate within the following parameters:

  • Concise and clear: They get to the point efficiently and avoid unnecessary words or details.
  • Direct: They address the issue at hand directly and honestly.
  • Forthright: They express their ideas or needs openly and candidly.
  • Frank: They are open and honest in their communication.
  • To the point: They focus on the essential information rather than tangents. 

In essence, these individuals value efficiency, clarity, and directness in their communication. 

Please don’t become offended, but rather value frankness and assume the best of intentions. The person you are talking to is likely very passionate and cares deeply, otherwise, they won’t waste time talking to you.

And if you are like me, stop being so “efficient” these are people not computer programs you are talking to… FEELINGS MATTER, at least to them. 

As always, God Bless, C.

The despair that comes from strength.

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When I am strong, I fail, when I am weak, I am strong!

God gave me a strong body, that body is definitely breaking down and starting to fail… The morning pains associated with waking up. The knee that needs injections. The hands that once turned oil filters. The shoulders that pop and crackle. The eyes that once saw clearly. It’s no lie that youth is wasted on the young.

 If I knew then, what I know now, I would not be the man I am. Instead, I would be a different man that does not know what I know now.

One life lesson I am still learning is trusting God to always do what is good and right! 

About two weeks ago Jess and I hit a bump in the road with a situation at Sam’s Place. I wont get into the details, but it discouraged us greatly… We started to question the WHAT, WHY, WHEN, and HOW… Looking into all our alternatives, questioning God himself, asking God… are we hearing your voice? Is this still what you are asking of us? And then, three days ago… I sent Jess this text:

 “Do you think our discouragement about Sam’s Place is because it’s a satanic attack?”

Low and behold, My asking that question has changed our hearts almost overnight. The situation changed dramatically, we got some news that helped us to realize God is still bigger than our issues… God let us know we had been operating in our own strength and we needed to pray more and lean on him more, and so… reclining back, into his arms, we now step forward with his strength.

I am indestructible, unstoppable and in control! Until God destroys my plans, stops me in my tracks and removes me from the operators panel of my life… Jesus regains the lead and I once again, I get out of the driver’s seat, taking my proper place as the tour guide, on the bus that Jesus is driving.  Jesus determines why, where, when and how that bus is operated and I simply tell others about what is outside the  windows of that wonderful tour bus. 

Its difficult to be given the role of “leader” in the Hazzard family tree… Hazzard men are strong, fearless, determined and focused, that leads to being the most important person on the planet! Imagine being so strong that you become blind to restraint! I was once told… “Manly strength is the power to do so much, yet restraining that power for the good of everyone but yourself”… self sacrifice for the good of others? BUT I LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF ME! Like the great words of agent Smith…

ME, ME, and also ME!

How easily I can turn from God and lean on my own understanding, forsaking the words of Jesus “I will never leave you or forsake you” 

How quickly I forget that Jesus has mended my broken heart, held tight the ropes of unbelief, lifted me out of the sewage in my very own Kidron Valley. 

Jess and I are on track again, the unstoppable team with the unstoppable dream. Now, I start playing in a new arena… FUNDRAISING. I know, this is the part that makes you want to avoid me. Do you remember playing “hide and seek”? I was excellent at finding others, not so good at hiding, so, with no further ado… “ready or not, here I come” I am coming in strong. Like it or not, I’m comin in hot. I am asking for donations, and I have God on my side! Or should I say, I am on GOD’S side? 

Today I officially started the unofficial fundraising at Sam’s Place! What are the goals we have to achieve:

Adding Air conditioning for our residents’ comfort during the hot times of the year.

Adding an elevator

Replacing the ramp that meets ADA for our residents safety. 

Updating the kitchen.

Exterior upgrades like paint & awnings.

A van to help residents get to appointments. 

Pavilion for smoking. Away from the building. 

Operational costs of programs that integrate community involvement.

Upgrade our security system.

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Visit us today on the web and contact us. Help us make a home for someone in need.

Welcome to the Sam’s Place family located in the great north woods of Minnesota:

Sam’s Place

200 Huskie Blvd

c/o PO Box 313

Bigfork, MN 56628

218-256-9154

samsplacebf@gmail.com

https://www.samsplacenorth.com

https://www.facebook.com/p/Sams-Place-61559249289857

Thank you, Charlie.

The Smile, The Dash

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I remember seeing a photo, probably at the end of the war. A man hanging on the entrance to a train.  Looking at the platform. Another man held a woman in a firm embrace. Her feet in the air. A loving kiss. The man on the train had a genuine smile. The two on the platform reunited. A man and woman, in love. Welcomed home after what had probably been a few years of war overseas. 

Or the picture of a woman running to the waiting arms of a man. A hand made sign hanging outside reads “Welcome home Hector” A small boy close on the heels of his mother, racing to the loving arms of the man that would return home, changed forever, but home at last. A big smile on all three would be recorded forever. 

In times square, faces, faces and more faces all with smiles. 

A petty officer dances on the streets as a nearby gal watches with a joy filled smile. 

The look on a person’s face tells a story that words struggle to convey.  “A picture is worth a thousand words” pops into my head. 

For me? I don’t remember moments that made my generation dance in the streets, kissing a stranger in Times Square, or confetti flung from windows high above the streets as the “world celebrates” a single event.

Instead, I remember: 

Iran-Iraq War, Fall of the Berlin Wall, Tiananmen Square Massacre, AIDS Epidemic, Chernobyl Disaster, Exxon Valdez Oil Spill, Olympics Boycott,  Iran Hostage Crisis, Emergence of disco, Breakup of the Beatles, Elvis Dies, Ted Bundy, Watergate and the end of the Vietnam Conflict. 

That doesn’t mean we didn’t have things that made me smile. I honestly believe there was a better platform for my “boomer” friends. Don’t get me wrong, Boomers had their fair share of hard times… but gen X?  We had “World Hunger” & “AIDS” celebrations. We are the “Forgotten, Latchkey” generation. So what made us smile? Ask any genX about “MTV” and fond memories are almost always the response. Or say the words “Asteroids” and see a bit of a grin start to form. Or ask them what it is about the phrase “gag me with a spoon” Ask them if they knew any “headbangers” or maybe ask them about which of the “brat pack” they most identify with… 

Every generation has something to smile about, some are big events with streets of confetti, some are sneaking cigarettes and watching MTV before your friend’s dad gets home and tells everyone to get outside and not come home until the street lights are on. 

I see the smiles recorded in history on a train platform, in times Square, On a big screen watching the Breakfast Club… and I realized something… all those before us, all those after us and even ourselves, we all have a smile to talk about. We all have a fond memory, of something. We can all share something that was valuable… but, like so many before us, we will all pass into the land of memories. Collected in a shoebox, a hard drive. Maybe a slab of granite in some StPaul suburb, a mothers last effort to preserve that memory engraved into a headstone, forgotten after only a generation or two… a year connected to another year by only a small “dash”… a dash that represents all the smiles of joy, screams of sorrow, groans of discomfort and days of remembering. 

So many years before me, so many years after me, so many memories in my “dash” I want my dash to be one of joy to those I have influenced, I want my dash to be remembered for the next 40 years by anyone I meet as a memory filled with a smile on their face. I will be forgotten one day, one day I will simply be a picture in a shoe box that hears the words “Mommy? Who is this man? Is he my great, great grandpa? He has a nice smile!” 

I pray your legacy outlives your life and that your smile makes another person’s smile just a little bit warmer. 

God Bless, and “Rock on dude”, Charlie