Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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Success in failure

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As we sat deep in the woods overlooking the ravine, a twig snaps, leaves crunch and out steps the largest buck I have ever seen, It had to score around 350, perfectly balanced and a body that easily hit 290 lbs. The most majestic buck I have ever seen! I coached my son: as we gazed upon the monster… “slowly” I whispered. He slowly raised his shotgun filled with a finely tuned sabot round, dead eye! Can’t miss! Once in a lifetime! Taking Aim, he breathes in, holds for a moment and slowly releases his breath… his first ever White tail is about to drop on the spot. He gently squeezed the trigger, not jerking a bit, steady and true, just like we practiced. And then in an instance, it’s over, I woke up in the comfort of my bed realizing it was a dream. I never had the opportunity to watch my sons succeed in deer hunting, at least not like in my dream. 

Years later I sit and remember the feeling they shared as they all found success in failure. Learning how to fail is a much better lesson than dropping the big one first time out. Failure is by far a better way to learn than success. But sometimes we need a little success to have the motivation to fail. I remember my first time hunting, I was 18, in winter Wisconsin. So many good and bad things about that trip. Rolled a friend’s fathers truck, over drinking and shot a monster 12 point… I still have that mount. Never a day goes by where I don’t see that mount and remember the person I was, and the things I did… Success? Perhaps… Failure? MOST CERTAINLY!!  

I don’t dwell on my mistakes like I used to, after all, that was 40 years ago. I have grown a lot from that fate filled day. I respect people more and I don’t drink or do drugs anymore… Instead, I have turned my life over to doing GOD’S will and not my own… ohh I’m still in there, waiting to screw things up and learn a new or previously learned lesson… there is no end to my failures, but I look at things different now, I can see the hand of God leading me, and when I let go of that hand, I can hear the still calm voice of my Lord say: “Charlie, I am” and once again I reach out to the everlasting Father that has kept me alive to this day. 

My life? HA, I’m on borrowed time! I think back to the movies of a man that gives his life to servanthood because another man saved his life. So now, he gives his life to serving that man in a debt of gratitude.  A debt he can not repay! Debts we can not actually conceive in its fullness. A debt I gladly turn over to serve the one that saved me… and yet, we forget!

Eventually these three boys learned to love hunting and found success on their own timeline, and learned the lessons they needed to learn. Years later Sam and Al joined my family… The only one I never got to share in hunting success was Sam… we went out a few times but I don’t think he was ever truly interested in woodsy stuff. I took Al out hunting porcupines one year. He was successful in how he stood there as I pulled the trigger, no flinching, screaming and no freaking out. I kept him focused on the object and he found success in my pulling the trigger… incase You don’t know, balloon pops are Als biggest phobia, and it’s a major deal to have him out hunting. 

I am thankful God has a use for me. That keeps me motivated! Much like the success he gave me in hunting for the first time. In this, I could teach life lessons to 5 boys, and many more if we count Boy Scouts. I wonder how all my Boys Scouts are doing today, are they successful because of my failures? I sure hope so!!

Have a blessed day today, tomorrow I bring 5 fat hogs into the slaughter house to be processed into food for our family and friends. I STILL HAVE A HOG IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

God Bless, Charlie.

So LAZY! A cold winter’s day.

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Short update, Jess has a cast on from a slip on the ice and a fractured wrist, She is doing her best to help out around the adventures of “Livinghazzardously”

Al has bacterial Pneumonia, and will be home this week.

I have pig, chicken, and dog care. Snow Plowing/shoveling duties. Cooking, dishes and laundry. Installations of heating equipment, no heat calls and servicing furnaces. Plow truck is dead in the driveway at minus 9 degrees… The list is interesting BUT God provides for us just what we need, when we need it… it’s an exercise in faith. I’m tired, but so glad I have everything I need to be able to provide for my family. 

Let’s take a tour of my cold winters bleak… 

I am a bit of a Tim Taylor kind of guy, I call it being “lazy”… I think the guy that fills his leaky tire everyday before he goes to work is less lazy than the guy that fixes the tire as soon as possible…. Why?  Simple, the guy that constantly fills the tire, day after day after day works much harder and for more hours than the guy that fixes the tire and doesn’t have to fill the tire more than once… I am told that I’m not lazy, what do you think? 

My pigs require water, the chickens require water too… in the mid winters bleak this becomes a serious challenge, you need water that doesn’t freeze, or you fill the water every day, sometimes three times a day. ENTER CHARLIE, THE LAZY! I really don’t want to go out three times a day, or even once a day, I’m way too lazy for that! So I sit and think of ways to make the water systems I have work better.

The first try was a “Drinking Post” that worked great until I discovered the water table is too high and it wont drain to prevent freezing. I tried adding a small fan powered heater, and a few modifications (what I mean is a bunch of mods) … NOPE, don’t buy this unless you live in a warm climate and have clean critters! The drain plugs up from pig food from the mouths of pigs and it freezes, freezes and freezes… The company was so unapologetic, they made the sale and now I’m on my own… money spent, gone forever, when will I learn my lesson and not try gimmicks, no matter how good the seem to be?

Another attempt was to simply add a heater to a tank of water that the pigs can get into from the top. That was my first step, it worked “OK”. but the water evaporates and is consumed pretty fast. If you know anything about pigs, they drink a lot of water and can’t reach over the top of a tank to access the water, so I was filling everyday, remember, I am lazy, I don’t want to go fill water every day…  

So my pursuit of becoming the laziest farmer continues!

I got a tank made for pigs, a tank designed for pigs! It has a valve that keeps a lower dish full of water and fills it from a large heated tank that is integrated. That works better from the perspective of volume (it’s a week’s worth of water) and keeping the tank clean (the pigs only drink out of the lower bowl and not the tank… ) but it too has a downside, heating the tank wont keep the lower bowl from building ice. Now what! Reptile heating pads are only for dry locations, I can fabricate a heater to attach to the bottom of the bowl but I am concerned the pigs’ curiosity will kill them or at least hurt them from a shock…

MINI FOUNTAIN PUMP! What a great idea Charlie, add a mini fountain pump to the bowl, a few holes drilled in the right locations, run some tubing from the pump back into the tank, add a line to circulate the bowl!  VIOLA! HEATED WATER, CIRCULATED INTO THE BOWL… my best invention to date, lets see if I can get a patent on this, well first, how long will this hair brained idea actually last?

My next invention? How can I provide pig feed via a WIFI app? Jess sits and gives me praise for my inventions, many work really well, but the water for pigs and chickens have been my biggest challenge to date. Maybe going with no chickens can be next, but have you seen egg prices?

I stop and think on days like this, how many different ways does Satan try to get us to do what he wants, gimmicks, laziness, no-self-control… I think of all the lies told to us by the media, big networks and platforms… Satan loves chaos and infighting, he loves to see the Church divided on things God has clearly spoken… Satan loves to see friendships forsaken, families destroyed and lies believed. 

We need to be so careful to not forsake the ones we love because of a misunderstanding or as I like to put it…. PRIDE. I can think of no sin that does not start with pride, it’s either blatantly prideful or it’s subtle. Either way, God has already revealed all truth, we become prideful when we reject HIS truth for the truth we prefer… either way, I can’t see any sin without some element of pride. 

The spirit of pride will convince a person they are right, or that somebody else is wrong… regardless of truth… I have heard both sides in politics lately, both sides are demanding they alone hold the truth, both sides are fully convinced there is no rational opposition… I have one thing to say on this, listen carefully:

You can not have two opposing views of the same concept in the same relation and both be correct… but they can actually both be wrong! 

I like numbers, they can’t lie, they can be manipulated by words, but they can not lie or be wrong. There is literally only one truth claim that is actually the reflection of reality, but there can be many truth claims that are not a reflection of reality… let that sink in! 

There is Truth! “Truth (big “T”) is reality as seen by GOD”.

There is truth. “truth (little “t”) is not reality but rather it is opinion as seen by the father of lies”

I hope as this “SUPER BOWL” Sunday progresses, we can see more truth and less lies. I pray this nation sees healing, I pray God will be glorified this day and the eyes of the blind can see. I pray for you my friends! 

May God bless you this day and may your team be the one that glories God..

I hate you!

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Three little words that can not be undone, I suppose after a while it can be forgotten, but like a bullet fired from the muzzle of a firearm, once released, it can never be retrieved. It can cut deep, penetrate quickly and it can also kill. 

I love you! 

Three little words that can heal, aid in the feelings or respect but can also cut deep when used properly. 

I remember a story of a man that was brutally attacked with hatred and unkind words, he responded with kindness and love, those words are still remembered to this day “Father, forgive them!” forgive does not mean to forget, forgive does not mean to overlook, forgive does not mean to ignore. So what does it mean to really forgive? 

I found this:

stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forgive David for the way he treated her”

WWW. forgive: 

I don’t know how to forgive according to this definition, I do know how to implement consequences without delay. I know how to enforce rules. I know how to defend those that can not defend themselves. BUT… do I know how to truly forgive? 

I think forgiveness is about the attitude, when my sons disobeyed, they had consequences to their actions. If they did something like shoot a BB gun and break a window (true story), they had to fix that window… In time they learned to not do so many stupid things… So what was my role as the “forgiver”? It would have been harmful to just “forgive and forget”. What lesson is learned? What growth is taking place? Does this concept of “forgive and forget” teach a boy that he can do whatever he wants and nothing would happen? 

So, how to forgive? I believe forgiveness must flow from a place deep within the heart, a place so private that even your wife has a hard time finding that secret place. It must flow gently, quietly and confidently, without delay! It takes practice… I don’t think a person should pray to God to teach them how to forgive, unless you are really ready to face troubles in life and learn the hard lesson of forgiveness. It’s not a bad lesson to learn but it can be a pain filled path. 

So what should it look like? I think of it this way. I do something that hurts a person, and I should immediately seek forgiveness by honest admission and acknowledgement of the wrong I did. But what of the wrong done to you? Should we seek to enforce the same standard on others that we do to ourselves? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Forgiveness is not to be so cheap that we can not give it without the other person meeting our criteria, forgiveness must flow free, and non-transactional. Forgiveness is “Wanting the best for a person after they commit a wrong to you, and not holding that offense against that person in a manner that is spiteful” See? Super easy!

I’ve been attacked online, physically and emotionally many times, and (this may be hard to believe) I have also needed to be forgiven many times. How we respond is invaluable, we must really check our pride and try to see it from another perspective, we MUST not retaliate against the other person, we must find it in our hearts to forgive…. But sometimes, we should not forget, sometimes? We must build a wall, form a boundary and create distance, maybe for a time? Maybe forever… sometimes it is all we can do, but we must protect our heart from bitterness…. Trust me, I lived a bitter life, I held on to the pain caused by another person so many times that I was consumed and forgiveness seemed ridiculous to me.

Bitterness is the completion of “un-forgiveness”

Joy is the completion of “forgiveness”

Withholding forgiveness does not make a wrong into a right, it only makes a person hurt and bitter.

Today, practice “forgiveness” and see what fruit comes from it, it may be more “violation” but stop and find forgiveness so that wrong does not rule over you any longer. 

God Bless, Charlie.