Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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I’m an odd duck…. Or am I a quack?

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When life gets messy, do you run and hide? Do you become hostile? Do you immediately switch into “damage control mode”? We all react differently in these situations and sometimes we regret the choices we have made in the past. As a Christian, what is the Biblical response to adversity? When things go south, what should we do? 

Peter in the boat cries out to Jesus who is passing them by, walking in the water… Peter leaps out at the first call from Jesus to step out in faith, but then he doubted his calling and sank.

Peter exclaims he would go to the place of death with Jesus on that fateful Friday but instead he hears the rooster crow, showing him how he failed again to have faith.

Jonah outwardly refused to do the will of God, but still ended up in Nineveh, to preach the word.

Esther complained to uncle Mordecai. Her uncle simply revealed if she didn’t do the calling on her life, God would raise another in her place.

Jess and I have been called to Sam’s Place, to serve those in need. When things get “messy” do we walk away? Or dig in for the hard push? Faith is one area God has gifted me. The truth is … it has topped my spiritual gift list for about 15 years now… prior to this it ranked in the bottom three.  I have no doubts about what Jess and I are doing.

BUT!!! This past week has put us both to the test. Let me tell you of some folks that could live at Sam’s Place. “Joe” had no family. Parents died years ago. Family is far away in a different state. Alone, lonely and tossed around from place to place. And “Bob” is a similar story as far as some aspects go… things got messy, I mean really messy, and it took a few days to get things worked out to get them better help, the system is the real mess. These two are humans that need a special kind of care… CARE!  The level of care we at Sam’s Place would love to offer but we are not set up for this level of care. We have to make decisions all the time to provide the right level of care… AND IT’S MESSY!! But we don’t quit. 

Let me tell you who we can care for: 

We can provide care for the lonely woman, living in the house or an apartment but struggling to keep the house clean, maybe forgets to take meds and would rather just stay away from people all day.

We provide care for the guy living with mental illness that just needs someone to monitor his mental health on a daily basis because he gets so busy with work that he forgets to eat or take his meds. 

We take care of the single mother that is trying to get her life together after her husband stops being part of her life, and she just needs help for a year or two.

That Vietnam Veteran down the block that looks out his window…  to make sure the kids are not coming into the yard to rip out the tulips he just planted.

That guy that’s always been an outsider in life, living in the trailer behind his mothers house when she was still alive.

The old guy that doesnt mean to make inappropriate comments but rather wants to say something nice, and always says it the most offensive way.

These are the folks Sam’s Place is looking to help, People made in God’s image, Messy people that you may not ever talk to because association with them may be embarrassing. People who may not always know what reality looks like and need a reminder that they can live a healthy and normal life, with a bit of help.

I’m reminded of Burl Ives narrating Rudolf the red nosed reindeer… Telling about the “Island of Misfit Toys” … The toys that are rejected by society for being old fashioned, odd in nature, not conforming to expectations… struggling to find a home, a place where they are just loved and accepted… A place where a Gal walks in and says “This is so much nicer than the places I’ve had to live” and she goes on to say, “Its clean!” Imagine, you just want a place to live that’s not gross! A place that’s not riddled with drugs and “drunk” smells. 

Give me your tired,

your poor,

your huddled masses

yearning to breathe free.

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:

I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

America is the biggest “dream land” in the world, folks are coming in by the 10 thousands, because it is the best place to live in all the world. It’s not a “fairytale” like Disneyland, it’s real, it’s messy, it’s home. Like America, Sam’s Place truly is the place of opportunity, for those we serve. 

Let’s get messy together! Let’s not worry about what someone “may say” . Let’s just make Sam’s Place the best community friendly, safe, loving and best place for everyone! Even if you don’t live or work there, you can still show love and compassion for the brother or sister, mother or father, uncle or aunt, veteran or orphan…

Serving others with love, sometimes will get messy. That’s ok. 

Charlie

Truth or Trust Fail

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I saw a movie trailer the other day starring Kevin Bacon and  Amanda Seyfried. Kevin made a claim “You broke the rules, there are no more rules anymore” This really struck a chord in my life… On one hand, we need to build sound and safe parameters to our lives for our safety and the safety of those we love. As a man, we have been given the responsibility of the protection of our families. Protection? From what? Maybe the horrible scene playing out in the Carolinas? Maybe from the fires in Maui? Maybe we should be testing fire hydrants in Cali?

What areas of protection do you see lacking in your world? Do we provide protections for others? WHO IS OUR CHARGE OF PROTECTION?

As the cofounder of Sam’s Place, Jess and I talk alot about how we can provide protection, how we can keep our residents safe…  safe, safe from what? I think back to the old movies like “Predator”. How would I protect anyone from that? I’m not a superhero… Well, I’m not super concerned about that type of threat, but I am concerned about other threats that are more realistic. Fires, floods and cold weather are real concerns… Locked doors, cameras monitoring who is “coming and going” are just a couple ways I can address safety, or maybe it’s the new boilers, electrical panels and a new roof? 

These are all great ways to provide protection, but what about the threats that we cant see? You know, the threats from within the mind? A few years back I got the opportunity to learn a bit about schizophrenia… It’s a difficult disorder. Imagine not being able to determine truth, hearing voices, seeing people and not knowing what is real. How do I protect someone from that? How horrible is it to allow a person to go on believing things that are not real? I guess if it doesn’t matter what a person believes then they can just imagine the reality they want? NO! That’s evil! 

I could go deep and prove my point here but in the end, If you don’t believe that objective truth matters, you will believe whatever you want to believe, regardless of facts, truth, reality and reason. If that’s true for you, I hope someone is looking out for you and protecting you from the reality of objective truth.

Back to trust, trust is knowing the person you trust will always do what is best for you in the long run. Trust is about putting others ahead of you and valuing the good outcome for them over your own desires… Think of it like the instructions on an aircraft, putting the mask on those that cant help themselves first is how is wrong and puts everyone at a higher risk of death. Taking care of the caregiver is how you take care of both people. BUT THAT SEEMS SELFISH. Until you are helping that person later, after the crash…

But what do you do when things are “WRONG” ? What do you do when trust is broken? What do you do when the one that is supposed to put you first with the lifesaving oxygen mask puts it on themselves and never helps you with yours, or worse, they put on the mask because they are saving themselves? What if the men in the Titanic got into the lifeboats to help the women and children get in but then they just stayed in the boat and did not help the women and children… 

The Movies are filled with scenes about trust fails, like life, the breach of trust is difficult… it destroys relationships faster than any other situation… 

If the plane had one too few masks, or the Titanic had too few boats… Where do you suppose you would see Jesus? Behind the mask? In the boat? No, he would be high and lifted up on that cross for you. For me. 

I’m so glad to realize that after I put the mask on my boys, help Jess into the boat, and stand at the end of life’s journey, I will always have company… The Men that take their jobs serious and Jesus. They will all be standing at the rails, watching the ones they love floating away to safety. 

Trust is a life’s journey, yet we all fail sometimes. Charlie

I hate you!

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Three little words that can not be undone, I suppose after a while it can be forgotten, but like a bullet fired from the muzzle of a firearm, once released, it can never be retrieved. It can cut deep, penetrate quickly and it can also kill. 

I love you! 

Three little words that can heal, aid in the feelings or respect but can also cut deep when used properly. 

I remember a story of a man that was brutally attacked with hatred and unkind words, he responded with kindness and love, those words are still remembered to this day “Father, forgive them!” forgive does not mean to forget, forgive does not mean to overlook, forgive does not mean to ignore. So what does it mean to really forgive? 

I found this:

stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forgive David for the way he treated her”

WWW. forgive: 

I don’t know how to forgive according to this definition, I do know how to implement consequences without delay. I know how to enforce rules. I know how to defend those that can not defend themselves. BUT… do I know how to truly forgive? 

I think forgiveness is about the attitude, when my sons disobeyed, they had consequences to their actions. If they did something like shoot a BB gun and break a window (true story), they had to fix that window… In time they learned to not do so many stupid things… So what was my role as the “forgiver”? It would have been harmful to just “forgive and forget”. What lesson is learned? What growth is taking place? Does this concept of “forgive and forget” teach a boy that he can do whatever he wants and nothing would happen? 

So, how to forgive? I believe forgiveness must flow from a place deep within the heart, a place so private that even your wife has a hard time finding that secret place. It must flow gently, quietly and confidently, without delay! It takes practice… I don’t think a person should pray to God to teach them how to forgive, unless you are really ready to face troubles in life and learn the hard lesson of forgiveness. It’s not a bad lesson to learn but it can be a pain filled path. 

So what should it look like? I think of it this way. I do something that hurts a person, and I should immediately seek forgiveness by honest admission and acknowledgement of the wrong I did. But what of the wrong done to you? Should we seek to enforce the same standard on others that we do to ourselves? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Forgiveness is not to be so cheap that we can not give it without the other person meeting our criteria, forgiveness must flow free, and non-transactional. Forgiveness is “Wanting the best for a person after they commit a wrong to you, and not holding that offense against that person in a manner that is spiteful” See? Super easy!

I’ve been attacked online, physically and emotionally many times, and (this may be hard to believe) I have also needed to be forgiven many times. How we respond is invaluable, we must really check our pride and try to see it from another perspective, we MUST not retaliate against the other person, we must find it in our hearts to forgive…. But sometimes, we should not forget, sometimes? We must build a wall, form a boundary and create distance, maybe for a time? Maybe forever… sometimes it is all we can do, but we must protect our heart from bitterness…. Trust me, I lived a bitter life, I held on to the pain caused by another person so many times that I was consumed and forgiveness seemed ridiculous to me.

Bitterness is the completion of “un-forgiveness”

Joy is the completion of “forgiveness”

Withholding forgiveness does not make a wrong into a right, it only makes a person hurt and bitter.

Today, practice “forgiveness” and see what fruit comes from it, it may be more “violation” but stop and find forgiveness so that wrong does not rule over you any longer. 

God Bless, Charlie.