Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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“I left my wife”

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I’ve heard this statement from friends, family and in a way, I’ve uttered this myself. In a society where celebrity marriages last a week, a month and maybe a whole year… any reason for divorce is a herald of freedom but the cost is high and turns into the shackles of slavery. How does this happen? “Charlie, how this could happen to me?”

Marriage is fragile! If divorce is unavoidable, first let me say I’m terribly sorry that it came to this. Sometimes divorce is the only avenue. Sometimes it’s the “lesser of two evils”

God hates divorce! There is no doubt in this statement, but God allows divorce in some cases. Before you move forward to getting a divorce, please get help in your marriage when ever it’s possible, divorce should only be the last option.

I remember doing a skit at our last church about “shattered pieces” it was about a plate, or a cup or even a bowl, fractured and shattered, how God can put the broken pieces back together. Reconstruction includes glue, time, support and vision. So much similarity to a broken marriage. So many pieces! So much glue, tape, bracing and patient observation. But…. is there hope? Can a person ever “completely” recover? The answer is simple…. it’s yes and it’s also no. Yes there is hope, yes there is healing, yes there is a future. There are also scars, deep cracks that may require filling in if some pieces are actually missing. I fix things, that’s what I do, I’m pretty good at fixing stuff too. So, can I give you some advice? Do what you will with this advice, after all, it’s free and you never even asked me for it.

First, collecting of your pieces is important to do as soon as possible, collect all the pieces, inspect them to make sure you have them all and also, check the pieces to make sure it’s only your pieces, many times when a marriage is shattered, it can get mixed up with other people’s shattered marriages (friends/families/support groups) collect and inventory them in a controlled place.

Start putting them back together, use the right glue. You wouldn’t go to a pet store to find glue, right? Then don’t go to a bar to find advice! (Or wherever) find the best place for advice, if you don’t know, find someone who navigated these waters before you and was successful. Don’t “ask a million people for advice”, I’ve found this to be counter productive, and some advice can be wrong and and cause damage.

Get the tools you need before you start to glue the cracks, take time, don’t rush, find support!

It’s no secret, I trust God, as in the God of the Bible and I believe he is the only truth in this world. I also had trouble submitting at times to his Word. Pain clouds the scene. It’s like a foggy night. When the fog is thick, everyone slows down, but when the fog is patchy, people tend to drive faster. Just slow down. Take your time and get home safe. I remember a Minnesota proverb “it is better to drive slow and wish you were driving faster than it is to drive fast and wish you had driven slower” it’s the same in a divorce, you can’t just stop and sit there, you need to go, but go the right speed for the conditions.

You also need to know where it is you need to go. Go to the Word of God. Healing takes time and scars are always the result.

I have scars I’m proud of and some I’m not proud of. But, I have scars just the same.

My prayer for you is a prayer of hope for the future.

A New Year

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For me, as for many others, the start of a new year is always a time of reflection. I look back at the previous year and think about all that happened, all that I did and all that I wished I had done. 2018 was a big year for us with many changes. It honestly went by like the blink of an eye and it was incredibly wonderful, filled with unbelievable blessings and many, many more highs than lows.  Charlie’s last blog post and our Christmas letter gave updates on all of our individual highlights of 2018.  It was an amazing year.

I want to reflect this new year on what I have learned through our journey of living hazzardously in 2018 and leaving the city for the country, the old for the new, the known for the unknown.  I believe that some thought we were crazy.  Others thought we were brave.  We knew that God was calling us up north.  We felt called to start an adult foster care home.  We felt called to serve the Lord in a new mission field ministering to families like ours.  Broken families dealing with blending and special needs and all that entails. We had no idea what that would look like, and we still don’t, but we trust God.

I have learned is that when I follow Jesus, He always lights the way and smooths my path, but sometimes I can only see ahead one step at a time.In Isaiah 42:16 (ESV), we learn that, “I (Jesus) will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.”   The bigger picture isn’t always clear, but I keep trusting and keep walking and God reveals more in His timing.  He never leaves me or forsakes me.

I have learned that less is more. As a person who spent far more time as a Martha than a Mary, I started 2018 exhausted by doing. Doing, doing, doing, going, going, going.  I spent so much time trying to do good things, trying to help others, trying to serve God, that I spent little time sitting quietly at the feet of Jesus and even less time sitting quietly and really listening to the people I loved.  It took moving into the middle of no where (30 minutes to the nearest town with a grocery store), where I knew no one, to force me to slow down and just be.  I can’t begin to put into words how much closer I have grown to my husband, my children, and my Lord Jesus Christ, by embracing the simple and slowing down.  I have learned that it is okay to just be home and that my calendar does not have to be filled with activities and appointments in order for me to be valuable.

I have learned that God provides. He really does.  I have experienced God’s provision many times in my life, but this year I can truly say that God’s provision has far exceeded my mustard seed faith.  We left our jobs in the Twin Cities and moved to a home that was in disrepair and had no appliances.  Our vehicles were in rough shape and we knew we would need of a tractor and other implements in order to plow and work the land.  We had to move our over abundance of combined belongings in multiple five hour trips.  God provided.  Precious friends and strangers came together to help us load our stuff, and two angels lent us a truck and came all the way up north to help us unload.  Charlie and Jacob were blessed with safe travels on many long, late night trips from the cities. We were gifted not one, not two, but three different vehicles in the last year, as well as two needed farm implements.  We had just enough money in savings to buy appliances and make the necessary home repairs.  God gave Charlie the boys the physical strength and dedication to work hard, day after day, around the farm.  Although not in our original plan, we have been able to establish an HVAC company up here in the north woods and jobs are already flooding in. We have truly experienced Philippians 4:19, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

I write these reflections to share the hope, encouragement, strength and joy I find in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  He is more than enough.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?
Then what could stand against?

“Our God” Chris Tomlin

 

Winter ready?

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Have you ever not been ready for winter? Have you ever taken a break without thinking “if winter hits, and the snow and ice are deep, could we survive or would we thrive?” The challenges of our new home are overwhelming at times but pale in the shadow of our LORDS great provisions.

I haven’t written in a while mainly due to the amount of work involved up here. God keeps proving Himself daily with amazing provisions and health! Alex and I work on the business start up, vehicle maintenance, home repairs/updates and all the daily chores that we have been given. Jacob is in school most of the day and helps when he has time. Al is settled into a healthy routine of good eating and daily exercise between going to his many sports engagements. But the real backbone of everything up here is my darling bride! She works harder than any of us! Her labors never end until late at night when she sits down, cuddles up to me and proceeds to fall asleep. Her day is by far the hardest. I mean sure, I’m working in the cold, heavy lifting, fixing the plow/work truck, doing dirty physical stuff… but Jess works all day and into the evening keeping all the tasks sorted out, caught up, cooking FANTASTIC MEALS, and all the administration for our new company…. but she won’t complain because every night we look at a painted sky, mornings are filled with bible reading, coffee, smiles and hugs…. truth be told, without her, I am nothing!

And our church family! I can’t even begin to describe what a blessing they are to us! The love and acceptance is so wonderful!

A quick update on our progress. Storm windows are replaced, shop is pretty much set up, work truck is nearly all fixed up, plow is working (still need to replace the power connectors) soon I can move back to working on the house… trim work, countertops, tile work, bathroom remodel/replacement & so many neglected items.

Starting in January we move to “full steam ahead” on our business. We are fully functional and ready to work now. We still have some expenses for equipment that I have been avoiding but I will need to submit to soon enough.

We mailed our Christmas letters today, if you don’t get one, please email your address and we will put you on our list (we lost our list when our computer crashed) we pray that this Christmas your joy is found in Christ alone and in him you discover a peace that’s greater than your own understanding.

Here is our annual letter for the end of 2018. (I think I need to learn how to post pictures, I will try posting some pictures soon.)

Merry Christmas from the Hazzards of Spring Lake, MN! December 2018

CHARLIE – In case you have not heard, WE MOVED! That’s right, we moved “way up north”, with the intent of opening an adult foster care home in the great north woods of Minnesota. That seems so long ago already. Jess and I decided it’s time to start our next and most exciting chapter of life, with reasons that are far too many to count. We started looking for our future home about a year (maybe more) prior to really finding the home that was perfect for us. With much prayer, we drove, spending weekends on the road listening to audiobooks and music, but mostly just enjoying straight up conversation. With more and more prayer, we traveled for months, looking all over northern MN, in our quest to find a place where our future dreams would be supported. We discovered a small slice of heaven about 45 minutes northwest of Grand Rapids, in the small unincorporated township of Spring Lake.

Before I get too far into what we have done, let me tell you why. We needed a home, a home that would fit the needs of our boys (as you may know, that is very complicated), and the needs of Jess and I as we “get old”. Our hope is to one day provide a retreat style collection of 3-4 cabins, located on our property, to minister to the needs of families in a unique way. Our desire is to help families living with special needs to experience a safe, quiet retreat into God’s creation, while building strength in the family relationships, with a focus on preserving marriages. Our heart is for serving not only families living with special needs, but also blended families. Our focus is on families, marriages and the challenges that come about with special needs and blending needs. As I like to put it, “The special blendering of the non-perfect.”  As you may or may not know, Jess and I have a very wide range of experiences in all of this, and although we are far from perfect, we understand many of the challenges associated with these situations.

As we pursued licensing, we learned that developing an adult foster care home has many hurdles, many more than we anticipated. We have come to the conclusion that we will not be able to open our home in a way that would be honoring to God until GOD provides the right person. This makes our hearts cry. Although we have not fully closed that door, it’s not something we feel would be right for our situation at this time. We pray this will change in the future.

Our bigger goal is still on track – Opening a retreat for families that face unique challenges. This dream is a bit more financially challenging, but certainly more inline with our calling to move here. Our hope is to add a “cabin” or two within the next year and continue developing connections to organizations that will help us to find those in need of what we are offering. We know that the need is real, and God will provide in His timing.

Financial challenges have opened a new door. This door is called small business ownership. God has given me the experience in HVAC to know how to run a heating/air-conditioning business and there is certainly a great need to provide services in the area. Last June, I moved up here with Jacob to join Al and Jess, who had come ahead of us in February, and by August, we had decided that it would be a good move to start an HVAC company of our own. Alex separated from active duty in the Air Force and has moved here to assist me in starting our own HVAC company, as well as helping me around the farm.

So, in closing, WE ARE BLESSED and we are busy. We started a blog that gives a bit more of our journey, and we would be honored to have you visit it and subscribe to receive updates on our journey. I don’t write as much as I should, but I do write, and having our friends and family following and praying for us is a bigger blessing than you may know.

http://livinghazzardously.com/

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

Jess – The past year has been a whirlwind of changes, and although I miss my dear friends and family down in the Twin Cities area greatly, I feel like I am where I have always been meant to be.  There is something so completely peaceful and magnificent about living in the middle of God’s country. The highlights of my year have been the clarity of the stars shining above when I step outside at night and the stillness so quiet you can hear the snow falling. I have been blessed by walks through the woods and on the paths Charlie and the boys put in around the fields of wild daisies.  I am grateful for the time to have family meals together and the conversations that happen during our frequent road trips into town. God has blessed us with the gift of an incredible church family, new friends and time to learn and grow together. 2018 has been a year of experiencing God’s faithfulness through leaps of faith and letting go of fears and for that I am grateful.

Christopher – For me, this year was defined by travel. It’s been my pleasure to lead teams of dedicated Airmen across the Continental United States, Europe, Africa, and the Middle East. Between increasingly frequent work trips, I fell back in love with reading; my newest favorite being Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life. I also redoubled my efforts in school, vacationed in Europe, and bumped into an amazing woman who would become my girlfriend, Tiffain. Together, we’re incredibly grateful for 2018 and excited to see what the Lord has planned for us in the new year. Personally, I’m excited for the 75th anniversary of D-Day and the Battle of Normandy, celebrated by a heavy ruck march challenge though France… OORA!

rAlex – 2018 has flown by like a jet plane! It started with a great, snowy, Idaho winter and progressed as God led me to apply for an early separation from Active Duty Air Force. This leap of faith has proven to be adventure after adventure. The long and stressful process of leaving the comfort of the “known” evolved into me ending up back in the state I love, Minnesota. After the 7 months of packing and vehicle maintenance God showed me the value of faith. His goodness has allowed me to enter the Air Force Reserves (based monthly out of Minneapolis) and also to assist my father is his many labor heavy endeavors. Furthermore, God has placed a wonderful woman in my life, Miranda. Though our relationship is still young, I look forward to a long and joy filled future with her. Looking to the future, I hope to see myself taking over the heating and air conditioning company my father is starting, and establishing a more permanent life in the Minnesota north woods.

Al – My highlights from 2018: I found amber at a historical site in Grand Rapids.  I joined the Itasca County Special Olympics team. I added a lot of new rocks and agates to my collection.  I met new friends at our new church. I was baptized in the lake. 🙂

Sam – 2018 has been a year of exciting new changes for me! I graduated from Southwest High School, and am now a freshman at Hamline University. My Dad and I moved from Uptown, Minneapolis and are now living in Saint Paul. I have spent the year playing chess and making music, along with new hobbies like livestreaming and photo editing.

Jacob – Psalm 98:1 Sing a new song to the Lord, for He has performed wonders; His right hand and holy arm have won Him victory.

It has been roughly a half a year since the Lord moved our family into the great northern woods of Minnesota. At Marcell Community Church, our family has gotten plugged in, quite literally, into leading worship through song and helping in any way we can. I was also able to attend Fall Retreat for the last time, which was quite a blessing. I have witnessed what the Lord has already done in my life, and I am excited for what He has planned. I also figured a short itinerary of the future would be good. I am currently enlisting into the US Air Force. In the Air Force I would like to become an Aerospace Medical Technician, known as the “Jack-of-all-trades” when it comes to the medical field. I am hoping to use this for full time ministry once I separate from the Air Force. But ultimately, my future is up to the Lord, as it says in James 4:13,14a,15  Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! Instead, you should say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”

Merry Christmas and God’s blessings!

Charlie, Jessica, Chris, Alex, Al, Sam and Jacob