Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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Think positive

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Do you remember the line from a long time ago? In the movie “Charlie and the Chocolate factory”?… if you remember it, sing it with me… “THINK POSITIVE…”

My oldest son played the part of Grampa in the high school play back in Bell Plaine… For many years that is exactly what I did, I just had positive thoughts, replacing the negative with the positive. It actually works well. 

BUT, there are times that positive thoughts simply means you are not looking at the situation realistically. Sometimes, a good old fashioned dose of pessimism is exactly what the situation calls for… Sometimes, there isn’t a really bright side. Sometimes, the negative is what you need so you can make corrections. Sometimes reality is a perspective that is not so jolly and positive. Sometimes, change is probably for the best.

For the most part I look at the world with a perspective that my cup is actually full. Because half with water and the other half with air, is actually full.

Think about that, it’s always full of something and to me, that’s “opportunity”… maybe to grow, maybe to move, maybe to withdraw, maybe to engage?…. One thing I know for certain, God has always provided better for me when I have moved in faith to his calling… listening to that still, small voice, hearing God’s words clearly and then stepping out, when it’s time.

When I was growing up, my father taught me many hard lessons. When he wasn’t screaming profanities and breaking stuff that he would later blame us kids… He would collect and store even more “stuff” in the hoarder house,  on the north side of MPLS. One thing I did learn is how to work, how to value work, how to never give up and how to never quit… If I didn’t learn these lessons, there was a swift reach for that wire coat hanger, i felt it across my backside to remind me what the best choices are for me. 

I learned these and many more lessons in life and then put these lessons into practice. It wasn’t all bad and it taught me a great deal of self discipline. I remember a quote, I think from Ben Franklin, could be wrong, but it went something like this… “Most folks are afraid of opportunity because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work”. So to me, the world looked like one big opportunity and I was never afraid of digging in and getting dirty… This has served me well for over 50 years now… and that has been good… but now….  My body hurts… When I say “hurts” I mean it hurts in ways I don’t understand, in places I didn’t know existed and from things I have been doing my whole life. It’s like I have been betrayed by father time and he is getting a good laugh out of watching me struggle. Time is nobody’s friend, when it comes down to the brass tacks.

So back to the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory… change is necessary from time to time, some change we make ends up with bad choices, we should be quick to adjust and change. Correct our trajectory. Yet others are seasonal and we may be there longer, we may get comfortable and compliant. Sometimes we just fight with God until that one day, we finally give in and move away… it can be very painful, but I have found if we stop fighting the change as soon as we know its time, things go much better. The sooner we can get back to serving God the way he has asked us to serve him, the better. Rest in the wisdom of the Lord and not on your own understanding. Things just go better. Putting off all bitterness, seek first to understand and then to be understood. 

I realize change is needed, I know I can not keep going forever, I just pray the Lord sends the right “younger man” to us, so that he may learn this business and take it over. If not, I have a bunch of equipment to sell, give away or toss out… one day, but I am not quitting yet. I have realized I’m not able to replace two furnaces in one day like I was doing only a few short years ago… nowadays? I take breaks! Never did that before. I take a lunch break too! It’s oddly refreshing. I only work 6-8 hours before calling it a day (sometimes)… I retreat to my home where my faithful foot massager is waiting for my daily dose of “ohh that’s a new pain!”

Change in life is the one thing that never changes.

So I say good bye to that which was and say hello to that great new tomorrow, with open arms, no regrets, no bitterness, only joy filled anticipation of what God has in store for us… as in Jess and I… 

God bless you all this day. We love you all and hope your next change is not filled with pain, but a joy that surpasses all understanding. C

Raw and uncensored.

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My life was so often like the pro-wresting matches of the 1980 era, It looked raw, uncensored and spontaneous but in reality, God had me right where he wanted me, learning the lessons of my mistakes and experiencing the troubles I would one day put into use for HIS will.

Every once in a while when I start to write, I decide it might be a bit too raw, too uncensored… I start to write, I stop writing… Some days I write to only myself, my own therapy or maybe to not forget.  I don’t write to feel sorry for myself but I do write to remember the pain I have gotten through, and sometimes I write to help myself process… Other-times I just need to put it on paper (or a screen) to just slow my brain down and see what I am thinking, then I can look and say to myself: yes that was painful or yes, that was who I was…

To truly help another person, I believe you first need to be able to relate to that person, to understand at some level, to have empathy. I believe you first need to be able to feel. I have lived a lot of pain, caused a lot of pain and helped some to get past their pain, but I don’t believe I am done, at least not yet, I have many more people I can help, so onward I push, forward I move, listening to the prompts of God, following his lead. 

One of the most prominent sayings in my life aside from the serenity prayer is: “HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE” when a person is hurting, they are so much more likely to hurt others, it takes a great deal of wisdom, maturity and life experience to rise above the pain we hold in our lives and close to our hearts so we don’t continue to hurt others. But the real question is how! HOW DO WE GET THERE? Is it from being hurt so much and so deeply that we become numb? Is it from will power to just move past? Is it from the advice of others to, as the Bob Newhart skit said… “Just stop it, or I will bury you alive in a box”

I think it is by the grace of God that we can even start in the direction to help others, we kind of need to surrender, and find purpose and value in our new goal of helping others. Or maybe you are like I was… only interested in myself? I used to think of myself a lot more than I thought of others (and to be honest, I still do), and when I did I usually started to think “Poor me” and anxiety would set in. I have found that when we dedicate ourselves to helping others become better rather than sitting and stewing about our own lives, we become happy. Or at the very least we become less depressed, that’s a good start.

Today I am distracted by other thoughts, thoughts of a new grand baby soon and what I am going to do as I get older and my body keeps telling me I cant continue at this pace any longer, like I used to… I was reminded of that this past week while installing a 4-head Mini-split system…

I was feeding the line through a header, around a corner and up through the floor of the closet, today my arm aches from pushing on one side of the wall, going to the other side and pulling, twisting and sending it through the floor, then getting down off the bucket I’m using as a ladder (a ladder won’t fit into the space I am working) and going up the flight of stairs to straighten out the copper tubing we call a line set, so I can repeat the process again at least 50 times (well maybe only 40). That was done three times with three different line sets, the fourth was much easier…today is my third day of recovery. The two man job, done by one man, is hard on this old man.

I love my job, I have never worked a job I love more than owning an HVAC company, but its hard work, I wish so often I could find a younger man to teach this trade to, but it seems, I am one of many business owners that have given up on trying to teach their trade to… a replacement. It just doesn’t seem worth the bother anymore as most younger guys don’t want to work, earn a living and take pride in a skill… they seem more interested in working for the minimum amount of time, then trying to get unemployment… My apologies for sounding like a disgruntled business owner and perpetuating generational divide, but as a Gen X, well, lets just say, we all seem to be feral. 

Let us not forget our past, or else, we will be doomed to relive it!

One of my biggest missions as Jess and I run Sam’s Place is to provide the guidance that others may need to live the most productive life possible for each person at Sam’s Place. I am certainly not perfect, but I do believe that with the Lord’s hand on my shoulder, we can make a difference for some, just not all. 

Circling back to my writing, I realize that what I write about may seem low, sad and somedays happy and joyfull, but I always want my messages to be filled with hope and not despair. I want my message to you to be one of future success and not one of past failure. I want my message to be filled with expectation of goodness in your life rather than a message of doom because of what you are going through. You see, I believe if God can do for me what he has done and continues to do for me, he can help, save and prosper (for his glory) any and everyone, if we can just learn to help others on our own journey. 

So on this beautiful Sunday morning of pre “labor-day” weekend I hope you find the joy and excitement we feel in our home as we expectantly wait for God’s miraculous hand in our life. 

Matthew 9:35-38

English Standard Version

The Harvest Is Plentiful, the Laborers Few

35 And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; 38 therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

Have a blessed week all, C.

PS. If you have not yet had a chance to donate to Jess birthday fundraiser, today would be a good day to do just that. Either on Facebook at Samsplacebf or our website Samsplacenorth.com every dollar donated is matched one for one. We are a 501c3 charity, so all donations are a tax deduction for you.

When time stops

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As the 3 year mark hits we stop and reflect, a lot has happened in three years, but one thing has remained absolutely unchanged, Sam. It’s hard to believe it’s been  3 years, and yet it seems like it was a lifetime ago. The head stone is always in need of a bit of cleaning, the grass is in need of a bit of trimming, the pine needles fall on the bench and the birds chirp as life continues. Life continues and yet it is still frozen, timeless, still, cold and dark. The hole in the heart that never will be filled. It may seem a bit smaller as our hearts fill with grandbabies. The newest additions to the Hazzard clan that will never meet folks like:  great grandma and grampa, great-aunty Laurie, my niece Ellie and… uncle Sam. I wonder who is next, I think about who is gone, I think about who might be the next to check into eternity… Me? Jess? A brother or sister?… There is always a “next” and it seems to be gathering momentum as time slides forward… As if it were an avalanche, picking up speed, gathering  souls on it time stopping journey down the mountain.

Time stopped that night and even though it moves on everyday, it’s frozen, frozen in time is the scream, frozen is the loss of strength, frozen is the darkness of the early morning phone call, frozen is the brother that doesn’t understand and can’t process the overload of information… Frozen is the step father that reached out to help… frozen in time like a portrait hanging on the hallway wall. Frozen, as memories stop and time leaves behind the moments and memories of a child, a “Man gone too early”.

And yet, here we are, moving forward, making plans and trying to influence one more guy to step into recovery to find a life that has a better end. The thing about recovery is it never is over, and although you may have never been lying on the floor physically, we have all been in that hall way of despair, the corridor of making the wrong choices… we all know this path leads to a door, and once you step across the eternal threshold, there is no turning back, no saying goodbye, no undoing the last step.

For me that last step, that eternal threshold is one into light, into heaven, into God’s Glory… I hope you are also walking towards that door. I can’t see the door you are walking towards and you can’t see mine… but we all are on that same journey called life, until we too enter into that timeless realm… or at least its timeless for those left behind, still walking the path laid out in front of them. 

At Sam’s Place, we are not a recovery program, we don’t provide recovery to our clients, but we are all dedicated to helping anyone that struggles with staying clean, some do great, some are walking a rocky path. All we can do is provide a home where recovery and staying clean is our goal, because staying clean is a requirement to make good decisions.

One time is all it takes… as I have heard many times:

 You are always one drink, one toke, one pop away from destruction. 

I mean, if you stop and think, are we not all one decision away from making our lives a mess? The man that stops at the bar for a drink, and ends his day swerving over the line, killing a mother and three kids. Or the harmless toke that brought on middle aged schizophrenia.  A pill that ends a carrier. The glass pipe that spiralled you into needing narcan. The girl in the video that was “harmless” yet ended your marriage. The business decision that was so easy but sent you to prison. Speaking harshly to your brother ended your relationship.  The Child who just wanted to be important but you were too busy. The friend that called a little too late in the evening whose funeral you are attending tomorrow. The granddaughter that wanted to show off her art work, but it was cutting into your busy schedule. Or maybe it was that leaking tire you meant to fix months ago that blew out at 55mph causing you to swerve across four lanes of traffic and now the little girl in the back of the minivan will never be able to have children. 

When time stops, when lives change forever, when things can’t go back to what they were… it’s still not too late to make the next good choice, it’s not too late to be there for a different friend… It’s not too late to “not” stop at the bar, or to “not” take a toke or to go fix that tire… life may be short, but it’s worth living and it’s worth living to the fullest… When life has you down, the best medicine is to get out, go somewhere and help someone… I dare you to prove me wrong! Just go and help someone in need, and if they refuse help, find someone who will take help.

The best way to help beat depression …thinking of someone other than yourself, try it. When we shift our focus away from ourselves and onto the well-being of others, we trigger positive neurochemical responses. 

But in the end, remember this, we do not know the battles others are facing, some battles can be handled alone if you have been practicing. Some battles require help, support and encouragement from others.. Yet others may require a total surrender to the care of a professional. The best decision you can make is to surrender your entire life to God, I know that may sound cliche, but it’s a cold hard fact, Jesus is the only cure to life and death. 

God Bless, C.