Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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Baby its cold outside

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How does this happen every year? January gets a warm up and then January slaps us in the face with bitter cold and cars that won’t start… I seem to buy at least two batteries every year… and one of them fancy “booster” chargers, it never seems to be enough that I change batteries and heaters and chargers and own a heated shop and, and ,and…. I still find myself looking down the double barrel shotgun of cold weather that hits -20,-25-, -30… and even a cool -40. If you are north of the US border, my Canadian friends, this is also their fate, but my neighbors in the south, east and west, sub freezing is a challenge (ha, all the way to like 30 degrees ABOVE ZERO).

This morning Jess and I were preparing for our Sunday morning bible study at church, reading about the “Good Shepherd” and talking about the attributes of Jesus in his earthly ministry. I felt comfort in knowing this cold will not last forever and in three days time the cold will end and we will once again be above Zero… AHH THE WARMTH OF 20 ABOVE.

How often do we not take the gifts of God seriously? Like cold weather that clears out the land and prepares it for the lush green of summer? I think of the deer, moose, mice, bobcats… all the critters in the forest that struggle with not having a warm house and on demand food sources and pantries filled to the brim…  and yet our God knows each hair of every critter. 

I need to get going because I know the car wont start this morning as I know it needs a battery, so off I go to grab the “jump starter” and pull cords that crack in the cold, hoods that fight you every step of the way with ice and cold, dogs that want to hide inside and pigs that squeal with ear piercing sounds of excitement over a bag of feed.

Stay warm and remember, we have life abundantly because we have a savior that loves us and provides for us everything we need to do HIS will, if we surrender our will for HIS will. 

Warm fuzzy hat with flaps? CHECK!

Long johns that cover the legs giving a second or third layer of protection? Check!

Gloves? Check!

A second pair of gloves to replace the wet gloves after watering the pigs? Check!

A good attitude about the cold? Well?… HELLO? Nevermind, I can’t win them all.

Charlie

Truth or Trust Fail

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I saw a movie trailer the other day starring Kevin Bacon and  Amanda Seyfried. Kevin made a claim “You broke the rules, there are no more rules anymore” This really struck a chord in my life… On one hand, we need to build sound and safe parameters to our lives for our safety and the safety of those we love. As a man, we have been given the responsibility of the protection of our families. Protection? From what? Maybe the horrible scene playing out in the Carolinas? Maybe from the fires in Maui? Maybe we should be testing fire hydrants in Cali?

What areas of protection do you see lacking in your world? Do we provide protections for others? WHO IS OUR CHARGE OF PROTECTION?

As the cofounder of Sam’s Place, Jess and I talk alot about how we can provide protection, how we can keep our residents safe…  safe, safe from what? I think back to the old movies like “Predator”. How would I protect anyone from that? I’m not a superhero… Well, I’m not super concerned about that type of threat, but I am concerned about other threats that are more realistic. Fires, floods and cold weather are real concerns… Locked doors, cameras monitoring who is “coming and going” are just a couple ways I can address safety, or maybe it’s the new boilers, electrical panels and a new roof? 

These are all great ways to provide protection, but what about the threats that we cant see? You know, the threats from within the mind? A few years back I got the opportunity to learn a bit about schizophrenia… It’s a difficult disorder. Imagine not being able to determine truth, hearing voices, seeing people and not knowing what is real. How do I protect someone from that? How horrible is it to allow a person to go on believing things that are not real? I guess if it doesn’t matter what a person believes then they can just imagine the reality they want? NO! That’s evil! 

I could go deep and prove my point here but in the end, If you don’t believe that objective truth matters, you will believe whatever you want to believe, regardless of facts, truth, reality and reason. If that’s true for you, I hope someone is looking out for you and protecting you from the reality of objective truth.

Back to trust, trust is knowing the person you trust will always do what is best for you in the long run. Trust is about putting others ahead of you and valuing the good outcome for them over your own desires… Think of it like the instructions on an aircraft, putting the mask on those that cant help themselves first is how is wrong and puts everyone at a higher risk of death. Taking care of the caregiver is how you take care of both people. BUT THAT SEEMS SELFISH. Until you are helping that person later, after the crash…

But what do you do when things are “WRONG” ? What do you do when trust is broken? What do you do when the one that is supposed to put you first with the lifesaving oxygen mask puts it on themselves and never helps you with yours, or worse, they put on the mask because they are saving themselves? What if the men in the Titanic got into the lifeboats to help the women and children get in but then they just stayed in the boat and did not help the women and children… 

The Movies are filled with scenes about trust fails, like life, the breach of trust is difficult… it destroys relationships faster than any other situation… 

If the plane had one too few masks, or the Titanic had too few boats… Where do you suppose you would see Jesus? Behind the mask? In the boat? No, he would be high and lifted up on that cross for you. For me. 

I’m so glad to realize that after I put the mask on my boys, help Jess into the boat, and stand at the end of life’s journey, I will always have company… The Men that take their jobs serious and Jesus. They will all be standing at the rails, watching the ones they love floating away to safety. 

Trust is a life’s journey, yet we all fail sometimes. Charlie

 “JUDGE RIGHTLY”

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My wife is the greatest gift I have ever had, but even she comes with “struggles”… I know I am perfect and bring her no grief, struggles or frustrations… I am perfect! Or am I blind?

I have had my struggles in life and some folks may still refer to me as a struggle for them (what? me??). Why does it seem the most demanding relationships are the ones we value the most? The hardest  relationships are the ones we seem to never give up on.. and never quit?

I noticed many years ago that we all have a tendency to view our actions from a perspective of our own intent, yet we seem to view others’ intent by their actions… What does this look like played out in a relationship? Let’s dive into this frustration today, head long and eyes wide shut.

Today we are going to name our characters Jim and Jane. 

Jim walks in and declares “Can someone please stop putting the dogs outside every time I need to get something done? Can’t you just watch them for a minute?”

Jim is assuming the dogs are put outside (Jane’s action) to make Jane’s life easier (Jane’s intent)…  

Jane puts the dogs outside (Jane’s action) to watch how the dogs love to be with Jim during the chores (Jane’s intent)… 

Jim judged her intent from her action.

Jane judged her actions on her intent.

We can easily switch everything, Names, scenarios, intents and actions… But what do we see? The person making the actions will nearly always measure the outcome by intent and the person experiencing the others actions will nearly always measure intent of the actions based on how they experience the actions… How do we come to a common ground? How do we “JUDGE RIGHTLY”

It’s even more complicated when we experience things multiple times, and see common outcomes based on our preconceptions. Is one better than the other? Maybe.. Maybe not… the important thing for Jim is to try to see it from her perspective and remembering that Jane is not his enemy… or maybe she is his enemy and she is not a faithful partner? Do we always give the benefit of the doubt? Should we assume the worst? Should we not care? 

All these outcomes are hard to navigate, and harder to discern! I used to trust everyone, But my naivete has caught up to my reality and I am now a person that doesn’t trust others until they prove otherwise. There was a long time I believed the opposite, I believed that if somebody wasn’t happy in a situation, they would go talk to the other person and “clear the air”. 

When I married Jess in 2015, I was a person of total distrust, I trusted nobody and never gave people a chance to prove otherwise… she has melted that cold hard heart. Now with God & Jess’s help, I can trust again…

I think about the journey I have been on and How God has sustained me, and how I have turned my back on God many times to trust myself rather than trusting in God…. What a long road.

I have found God is able to rightly judge me, my actions, my intent and that of others in my life. This has lifted a great burden from my shoulders. Much like “Pilgrim” from the John Bunyan book “Pilgrim’s Progress”. The amazing thing is like the John who penned the book of Revelation, this John was also in prison when he penned his book. 

If these men (and many others) can find joy, hope and trust in prison, we can find trust in our homes.

Today, assume the person’s actions that caused you adversity were from a place of purely good intent. Assume the person is your friend and is looking for the best for you. Assume your actions can be misinterpreted as the other person experiences the fall out of your actions. Remember, only God can rightly see all that is in a person’s heart, but if our default is to assume our closest relationships are people that only want what’s best for us, we will all be happier, live longer and be deeper in love… 

May the Lord our God teach you to trust.

Charlie