I’ve heard this statement from friends, family and in a way, I’ve uttered this myself. In a society where celebrity marriages last a week, a month and maybe a whole year… any reason for divorce is a herald of freedom but the cost is high and turns into the shackles of slavery. How does this happen? “Charlie, how this could happen to me?” 
Marriage is fragile! If divorce is unavoidable, first let me say I’m terribly sorry that it came to this. Sometimes divorce is the only avenue. Sometimes it’s the “lesser of two evils”
God hates divorce! There is no doubt in this statement, but God allows divorce in some cases. Before you move forward to getting a divorce, please get help in your marriage when ever it’s possible, divorce should only be the last option.
I remember doing a skit at our last church about “shattered pieces” it was about a plate, or a cup or even a bowl, fractured and shattered, how God can put the broken pieces back together. Reconstruction includes glue, time, support and vision. So much similarity to a broken marriage. So many pieces! So much glue, tape, bracing and patient observation. But…. is there hope? Can a person ever “completely” recover? The answer is simple…. it’s yes and it’s also no. Yes there is hope, yes there is healing, yes there is a future. There are also scars, deep cracks that may require filling in if some pieces are actually missing. I fix things, that’s what I do, I’m pretty good at fixing stuff too. So, can I give you some advice? Do what you will with this advice, after all, it’s free and you never even asked me for it.
First, collecting of your pieces is important to do as soon as possible, collect all the pieces, inspect them to make sure you have them all and also, check the pieces to make sure it’s only your pieces, many times when a marriage is shattered, it can get mixed up with other people’s shattered marriages (friends/families/support groups) collect and inventory them in a controlled place.
Start putting them back together, use the right glue. You wouldn’t go to a pet store to find glue, right? Then don’t go to a bar to find advice! (Or wherever) find the best place for advice, if you don’t know, find someone who navigated these waters before you and was successful. Don’t “ask a million people for advice”, I’ve found this to be counter productive, and some advice can be wrong and and cause damage.
Get the tools you need before you start to glue the cracks, take time, don’t rush, find support!
It’s no secret, I trust God, as in the God of the Bible and I believe he is the only truth in this world. I also had trouble submitting at times to his Word. Pain clouds the scene. It’s like a foggy night. When the fog is thick, everyone slows down, but when the fog is patchy, people tend to drive faster. Just slow down. Take your time and get home safe. I remember a Minnesota proverb “it is better to drive slow and wish you were driving faster than it is to drive fast and wish you had driven slower” it’s the same in a divorce, you can’t just stop and sit there, you need to go, but go the right speed for the conditions.
You also need to know where it is you need to go. Go to the Word of God. Healing takes time and scars are always the result.
I have scars I’m proud of and some I’m not proud of. But, I have scars just the same.
My prayer for you is a prayer of hope for the future.
p others, trying to serve God, that I spent little time sitting quietly at the feet of Jesus and even less time sitting quietly and really listening to the people I loved. It took moving into the middle of no where (30 minutes to the nearest town with a grocery store), where I knew no one, to force me to slow down and just be. I can’t begin to put into words how much closer I have grown to my husband, my children, and my Lord Jesus Christ, by embracing the simple and slowing down. I have learned that it is okay to just be home and that my calendar does not have to be filled with activities and appointments in order for me to be valuable.