Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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TRIGGER WARNING! 

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Imagine it’s November 23rd the Vikes win over the Lions 44-38! Or maybe the 2021 Bucks suffered a come-back of the Celtics? Or a Monday night in 2003 when Indianapolis was at Tampa Bay with just over 5 minutes left and Peyton returned the ball on a 29 yard interception! …

Every Monday Night I would prepare for the game by picking up a case of Michelob Golden Draft, a bag of chips & dip, or cooking a tasty sausage & cheese dip or perhaps a deep fried turkey… I would spend hours in delightful anticipation of this event. I never missed a Monday night football game, or a 7th inning stretch…

or that long awaited Minnesota North Stars hat trick making #14 for my man Dino Ciccarelli!

I could never understand why they would schedule holidays on game days. Why wouldn’t they just move the holidays so we can watch the game without any competitions for my attention?

Or maybe it was different for you? Maybe you stopped off at the bar after work to unwind and have a beer after driving your garbage truck through the alleys of Minneapolis only to realize… that beer lasted 8 hours…

Maybe you just wanted peace, calm, rest… maybe your mind was racing so fast and the world had expectations you could never achieve, make more money, complete a DIY project, fix the things your kids broke today, mow that lawn and don’t forget, it’s Christmas day tomorrow… Tomorrow? Game day? Wow, that week went fast..

Years later I asked myself a simple question: “What is your favorite memory of growing up?” the answer may surprise you… It didn’t involve any millionaire sports hero, it didn’t involve my favorite sports announcer and it certainly wasn’t watching public dollars getting poured into reinflation of a dome. If I had to pick just one memory that I can look back on and say “that memory, right there!” I would have to say it was probably climbing the old red maple tree in our backyard,

hiding from the hell I knew as reality… It was one of the few places in my life that no one could get to me, I always climbed higher and became more invisible in the big red leaves and strength of the diagonal branches.

It’s kind of ironic that I worked so hard to be unseen. It didn’t matter if I was home or at school, I drew the undesired attention of those who sought to hurt me. You can only stay out of the spotlight when you have no value… value? Yes, value! To those that bully you because you make an easy target. To those that exploit you because  you are productive. To those that profit from you because your brain works faster at troubleshooting. Literally, anything including “tearing you down because they are trying to puff up themselves”. I had a lot of “value” over my life, just not the way I would have liked to be valued. So how does this tie into sports?

If you are a sports fan, you may want to stop reading this post now and wait for my next post as you may never want to talk to me again, if you continue to read.

2005, “Love boat, sex party” on Lake Minnetonka, seventeen Vikings… in plain sight of minors.

2001 Moss pushes meter maid with car.

COUNTLESS DWI’s

Drugs, Felony Drugs, even selling drugs!

2000-2013 the MN Vikings tied a new record with the Bengals for the top number of NFL players to be arrested… hitting 40

MLB collusion scandals to restrain players salaries.

Cocaine.

Steroids.

Biogenesis scandal.

“Sign stealing” (just another way of cheating)

1994-95 strike because a million dollars isn’t enough…

2018 IIHF World Junior Championship. Ends with  5 players arrested for SA

New York Rangers felony drug possession of crack cocaine.

The list goes on for what seems forever, with high end lawyers buying down charges and turning felonies into misdemeanors for the high value players. Excuses like “You just don’t know the stress these players are under” or “Well, Boys will be Boys, But they sure play a good game…”

I’m not here to say stop watching the game, I certainly understand there are excellent players that love the game and can be good mentors. I’m not here to “FLIP” your opinion… I just wanted to say, I believe there are better venues to find mentors for our future men in this world than to look at professional sports where “self exaltation” is demanded and “glory to self” is highly sought after.

I turned my back on sports many years ago. I have been insulted and called many cruel names by my “Friends” for not watching sports. Family inferring I am not much of a man because I don’t watch sports… I have heard it all… one of my favorites “Stop being such a prude! It’s just a fun game for entertainment”  

Well, It may be just a game, but it may be a bigger problem? I have seen families skip church all summer so as to not miss the baseball game in town. I have seen Men destroy their families because Monday night football with the guys is more important than that night of sledding with the kids. I have seen wives cry over the decision to watch the world series rather than spend their anniversary focusing on the marriage. I have witnessed so much pain, caused by men when they put “PRO-SPORTS” first. 

Here are a few things you should NEVER hear, but I would not be surprised if I did: 

On the way to an open heart surgery: “We need to hurry, the game is starting in a few hours!”

On the death bed: “Ohh how I wish I had spent less time with my grandkids so I could see more games”

“If only I hadn’t wasted my time helping my children, I could have been holding a beer and watching the game!”

“I think watching a bunch of criminals toss a pig skin is more valuable to me than living a decent life of helping the less fortunate overcome life challenges”

I’m not trying to paint a picture of only the “bad”, but I do want to put into perspective the value of sports in life, I am certainly not trying to insult or belittle anyone… I only want to pen my reasons for my radical change in life, how I came to this conclusion and to turn my back on sports…

I personally would rather spend time with those I love and those who need help rather than watch a game that will be forgotten and has no future value. But maybe I am the odd duck out.

  • A survey of 370 American men and women found that the most common regrets were related to relationships with people in their lives. 

Surprised? I couldn’t find anyone say they regret spending time with family and not watching sports…

I don’t think anyone has ever said, “I wish I had watched more millionaires complain about how they deserve more money.” or “I wish I had watched more games that have no value in life aside from making rich people richer and poor people drink more beer!”

So, now that you have my opinion as to why I stopped watching the game & why I don’t think the game should be so highly valued in men’s lives, I leave you with one more thought…

Have you ever jumped up and shown excitement over that touchdown? 

Have you ever been disappointed with the Twins at the end of the world series?

Do you think those things are more important than your salvation? Your kids’ salvation? Or even a stranger’s last meal? Is the game really something to invest more emotional energy into than the fact that God has provided a way to live, with Him, for eternity?

 Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to not “watch” the game today, I’m only saying…. It’s not the most important thing happening today… pick up that phone and call that person that only wants to be remembered, that person that is sitting in the living room and wonders if anyone cares…

maybe, just maybe, go watch the game with them, and let them know how important they actually are.

Take that game in! Keep an eternal perspective! Don’t put the game first, put the people in your life first and the game in its rightful place. 

Serving with Joy, Charlie.

God of the good times, is still God in the bad times

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Have you ever had a hard week? Most everyone has had “that week”, I am no different. 

This week I praise God for all the good and for his sustaining grace in some rather uncomfortable and difficult times. I won’t go into these “hard times” but rather I wanted to look at how the God of the night time is still the God of the day time. 

I like music, but I never learned how to read music, mainly because when I was in choir, I was a terrible student. My choir teacher once wrote a comment:  “Charlie is not much use to us!” Not much use? That hit me hard and I never tried again! But instead I whistled, ALOT! My father would whoop me for whistling too much, he hated my whistling.

It reminds me of a movie, I forget the name, where a POW saying something like, “Although they beat us, although they torture us, the one thing they can never take is our JOY! They can never take my joy, I can only give it up!” 

This song sustained me many a day, I hope it brings you joy and hope today. 

In closing, I leave you with some of the greatest lyrics ever penned on paper:

Life is easy, when you’re up on the mountain

And you’ve got peace of mind, like you’ve never known

But things change, when you’re down in the valley

Don’t lose faith, for you’re never alone

For the God on the mountain, is still God in the valley

When things go wrong, He’ll make them right

And the God of the good times, is still God in the bad times

The God of the day, is still God in the night

You talk of faith when you’re up on the mountain

But talk comes so easy, when life’s at its best

Now it’s down in the valley of trials and temptations

That’s where your faith is really put to the test

For the God on the mountain, is still God in the valley

When things go wrong, He’ll make them right

And the God of the good times, is still God in the bad times

The God of the day, is still God in the night

The God of the day, is still God in the night

As the lyrics of the song suggest, God is good all the time.

I hope your Joy today exceeds all your trials and that at the end of your day, you choose joy. Charlie

I hate you!

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Three little words that can not be undone, I suppose after a while it can be forgotten, but like a bullet fired from the muzzle of a firearm, once released, it can never be retrieved. It can cut deep, penetrate quickly and it can also kill. 

I love you! 

Three little words that can heal, aid in the feelings or respect but can also cut deep when used properly. 

I remember a story of a man that was brutally attacked with hatred and unkind words, he responded with kindness and love, those words are still remembered to this day “Father, forgive them!” forgive does not mean to forget, forgive does not mean to overlook, forgive does not mean to ignore. So what does it mean to really forgive? 

I found this:

stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forgive David for the way he treated her”

WWW. forgive: 

I don’t know how to forgive according to this definition, I do know how to implement consequences without delay. I know how to enforce rules. I know how to defend those that can not defend themselves. BUT… do I know how to truly forgive? 

I think forgiveness is about the attitude, when my sons disobeyed, they had consequences to their actions. If they did something like shoot a BB gun and break a window (true story), they had to fix that window… In time they learned to not do so many stupid things… So what was my role as the “forgiver”? It would have been harmful to just “forgive and forget”. What lesson is learned? What growth is taking place? Does this concept of “forgive and forget” teach a boy that he can do whatever he wants and nothing would happen? 

So, how to forgive? I believe forgiveness must flow from a place deep within the heart, a place so private that even your wife has a hard time finding that secret place. It must flow gently, quietly and confidently, without delay! It takes practice… I don’t think a person should pray to God to teach them how to forgive, unless you are really ready to face troubles in life and learn the hard lesson of forgiveness. It’s not a bad lesson to learn but it can be a pain filled path. 

So what should it look like? I think of it this way. I do something that hurts a person, and I should immediately seek forgiveness by honest admission and acknowledgement of the wrong I did. But what of the wrong done to you? Should we seek to enforce the same standard on others that we do to ourselves? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Forgiveness is not to be so cheap that we can not give it without the other person meeting our criteria, forgiveness must flow free, and non-transactional. Forgiveness is “Wanting the best for a person after they commit a wrong to you, and not holding that offense against that person in a manner that is spiteful” See? Super easy!

I’ve been attacked online, physically and emotionally many times, and (this may be hard to believe) I have also needed to be forgiven many times. How we respond is invaluable, we must really check our pride and try to see it from another perspective, we MUST not retaliate against the other person, we must find it in our hearts to forgive…. But sometimes, we should not forget, sometimes? We must build a wall, form a boundary and create distance, maybe for a time? Maybe forever… sometimes it is all we can do, but we must protect our heart from bitterness…. Trust me, I lived a bitter life, I held on to the pain caused by another person so many times that I was consumed and forgiveness seemed ridiculous to me.

Bitterness is the completion of “un-forgiveness”

Joy is the completion of “forgiveness”

Withholding forgiveness does not make a wrong into a right, it only makes a person hurt and bitter.

Today, practice “forgiveness” and see what fruit comes from it, it may be more “violation” but stop and find forgiveness so that wrong does not rule over you any longer. 

God Bless, Charlie.