Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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Is Youth wasted on the young?

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The years pass by like a tornado, and the days pass by like winter changing to summer,  inside my brain, time shifts and blurs, as if the clock master is playing a game.

I heard a commentator referring to generation Z as having figured out the wisdom in making good life choices… referring to:

  • Drinking alcohol is at an all time low
  • As many as ⅓ of Gen Z not drinking at all
  • Teen pregnancy is way down
  • Food choices are far more healthy
  • Overeating is way down in this generation

The list goes on… is this generation displaying great insight and extraordinary wisdom? 

I was at a customer’s house this week, he is older than I am and has been caring for his wife for years as her memory slips away, I watched as he too is starting his own new struggles in life and things become harder to accomplish, harder to process and harder to just live the day to day stuff… does this man have extraordinary wisdom and insight?

One of our boys came to visit this weekend. I watched as he poured all his strength into turning a nut off the ball hitch protruding from his truck, a strong man, a man who became a dedicated father and devoted husband. I saw strength, I saw courage, I saw motivation, self sacrifice and a willingness to provide for his family at all costs, even to the point of giving his own life to make his family strong.

I saw myself, or should I say, I saw who I was.

Today I looked and saw a man in the mirror I no longer recognize, he has gray in his beard and shiny spots on his head that was once covered with hair that resembled Eddy VanHalen.

I saw a man with fibromyalgia, a condition brought on by years of trauma and survival. I saw a man in the mirror that used to jump and run but now he creaks and cracks. I saw a man that pulled himself up from the floor after retrieving a pen but once pulled engines with only a rope and good balance. I saw years, I saw tears, I saw pain… I saw joy.

Yesterday we had our family devotion time, via ZOOM , we talked about judgement, mercy and grace. In retrospect, we talked about generations. How can generations be so different and still have the same struggles as when time began? Youthful bliss, family dedication, desperate departures, sunsets loneliness… no escaping the seasons of change, but so much difference from generation to generation. The same but different… I remember back to my Friendship church days when our director of the Christmas play would remind us to “Always maintain a ridgid state of flexibility” (wise words Criss) That statement carries the words of truth to all corners of the earth and yet this falls on deaf ears as every generations strives to make its own unique and indelible mark on the pages of history. 

Back to Gen Z, a unique generation and definitely a generation of indelible markings… making wise choices? Thriving? Or surviving? What an interesting and honest observation of better choices or maybe it’s actually a deep moaning cry? The deepest guttural utterances… could it actually be the lack of human interactions? Back when I drank, it was mostly to gain a social advantage and starting point of relationships. How about lowered teen pregnancy? Is it because fewer people flirt and date anymore? Not enjoying a meal together could be why overeating is less prominent? Is this thriving? Surviving? Or is this not even living? All great questions, I claim no great insight, I claim no words that can answer these questions… I am simply asking…

Back to my customer, for a moment. This older man is young, in his heart, he knows what to do and how to do it. He has a vast array of tools and equipment at his fingertips, but he is no longer capable of swinging from tree to tree like he did as a young Tarzan.

In my mind?… I am still that youthful fool that went to the bar on a Friday night with a full bank account, only to arrive the very next day with only 2 nickels left for gas that week… If only I could have my youth filled days back, if I knew the pain I would endure now, I would have certainly been wiser, or would I? 

Yes my sons, youth is truly wasted on the young, so today I challenge you to be wise with your youth, learn from the countless fools that go before you, learn from those that have been on your path, we may be an “old fuddy duddy” in your eyes, but there is a day that is only a few minutes away that you too shall look into the mirror and see a stranger staring back at you. An old “fuddy duddy” with gray in his beard, shiny spots on his head and a pain in every joint that now cracks and creaks with every movement. 

Blessings on my customer, a dear friend of mine, a mentor, a good man that has new struggles in this chapter of life, God knows your challenges as well as mine and he is always ready to take our burdens, as long as we don’t refuse His help.

The youth I had was never truly wasted until I saw the man in the mirror that missed out on relationships that should have been. Charlie.

Sign-us or sinus

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This week started well and ended in a trip to the doctor.

Finally I am the center of attention!

Jess has her broken wrist, Al had his Pneumonia and finally I get to have a major sinus infection…

When I get a sinus infection it’s not just a headache, it’s not just an aversion to light, it’s not just a runny nose… nope, for me a sinus infection is laying there moaning in pain, covering my eyes with two layers of towels to block all light from entering my eyes, its a nose so raw that I start to think I have no more skin left to dab at… 

Maybe I am just a big baby?

Lets measure my pain tolerance?

When Al smashed my ring finger with an eight pound maul, I did lay down and hold my hand exclaiming great pain but never swore or shed a tear, so maybe that’s just coincidence… 

When I got a sliver that went in one side of my finger and out the other, passing by the bone which deflected the trajectory of the sliver. I looked, I saw and I said “ wow, that’s a big one!”

Or perhaps the proof of me being a big baby is when I got carpal tunnel surgery on both hands and orthoscopic surgery on my knee, on the same day so my recovery time would overlap. But a week later I was in the BWCAW, and got covid…still had a decent time.

Ya, I’m a whiner I guess. But I sure don’t remember the  “sign-up for sinus”

I was doing the math today and calculating how much time I’ve been set back because of my shifting responsibilities as a caregiver and now? I’ve lost four days to a sinus infection, and that’s not even the time it takes to catch up. did you know my pigs don’t give an OINK about how I feel, I still need water and feed them every day. Do you also know the chicks don’t give a cluck about my responsibilities elsewhere, they still need clean water and lots of grains… Minus 20F simply adds to the challenges, I don’t get to “wait until its warmer out” I just dress like I live in Siberia and fill the water, break the ice and wrestle with doors that are frozen shut… it’s all part of the beauty of our life. 

All this to say “I wouldn’t trade this life for any other”. I am blessed and I am tired. My life is full and not boring. We are serving and finding value. Life is most complete when you have someone that depends on you, for something. Finding value in serving others is one of the greatest gifts God gives us. I don’t regret how little time I have to do “nothing”, because the fact is, I have plenty of time to do what I like to do. Life will continue to wane on, and I will become less able to provide, and serve others, perhaps I can fish more, visit more and talk to those in need, even if it’s  just a little bit more, each day. 

A sinus infection may slow me down for a season, and give me time to think about things I would normally not give a single “OINK” about. 

A broken wrist may help me appreciate the laundry chores that I normally take for granted, or finding satisfaction in cleaning the stove.

Pneumonia may give me a new appreciation and perspective for caregiving.

But God is the one that gives purpose, value and worth to life at every level. 

Find someone today that needs a little attention, a little help, a little care, be someone like Jesus today to someone that needs a bit of Jesus’ love. 

Enjoying the melting but missing the snowshoeing, Charlie

Crawl spaces, everyone has one somewhere

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I was told once that farmers see cows from the “udder-side”, x-ray techs see people from the “in-side” but in my line of work, I see a lot of houses from the “under-side”.

How do we as Christians see people? Do we see the broken days of failed marriages? Or the messes and destruction from bad choices as parents?  Maybe we see the failures caused by years of selfishness and unforgiveness? 

How should we see people? Should we “FORGIVE AND FORGET?” Should we “LOOK FOR THE BRIGHT SIDE”? Or maybe we should look at the world through “ROSE COLORED GLASSES”?

I think Jesus showed us this example very clearly: 

King David was an adulterous murderer.

Mathew was a thief against his own people.

Saul who became Paul was a bureaucratic murderer that used others to kill his opponents.

Moses was slow of speech and humble.

Adam failed in protecting his wife and then threw her under the bus.

The woman at the well was, not a pinnacle of society. 

Jesus never said “live and let live” Jesus never said, “Well, that’s their truth” Jesus never said “lets just agree to disagree” instead he spoke truth though a profit, convicting David… Instead Jesus called the thief out of a tree for dinner. Instead he confronted and asked “why are you persecuting me?” Instead he used a sinner to free his people. Instead he had consequences of being put out of the garden that are in place to this very day. Instead he told her to stop sinning. Jesus judged everyone, calling some “whitewashed tombs filled with dead mans bones”

A donkey talked to the man that was beating him… God used the Donkey to judge this man and for correction. Maybe the next time you think some “donkey” is talking to you and telling you how you need to change…. LISTEN, before he kicks you, in your butt.

I think about this stuff when my body wreaths in pain as I descend a scuttle hole under a house, tools and replacement pump in hand, to provide comfort to those that are struggling that day. How often do we pass by opportunities in our daily jobs, travels and interactions just to say later… “That “person” was so much less human than I am.” Or “That person did “such and such”!” Or we simply just think…. “If they were as good as myself (you fill in your own words here)”

Donkeys are not stubborn, they are cautious, too bad we don’t follow the example of the “donkey” and show some caution when we start forming thoughts of others… We really don’t know the journey they are on. BUT… I also think it’s safe to say… don’t drive 20 under the speed limit until you get to the passing zone and then speed up to 10 over the limit just to slow down at the next no passing zone GRRRRRR (sorry, personal rant there).

This week I was learning a bit about CPTSD and PTSD… PTSD can be caused from a singular event, it can cause nightmares and mess up the daily lives of people, but today I want to mention CPTSD (Complex PTSD). 

From what I understand, so far, CPTSD is a childhood trauma response. Generally caused from betrayal and trust issues that form deep in the early stages of development of a child.. In other words, those that you should be able to trust the most, causing repeated trauma, betrayal and abandonment. This type of PTSD is different in many ways and needs to be dealt with properly, this PTSD causes extreme issues into adulthood… the physical, emotional and spiritual trauma, all linked to trust, betrayal and abandonment. For me, this has manifest in Fibromyalgia, a constant physical pain in every part of my body… It is by far the hardest thing in life for me to manage. Keeping myself busy is the best physical therapy I have found… Antidepressants helped with the pain for a short time, but caused a huge weight gain that seems harder than it should be to regain the BMI of my youth… This condition actually has increased my pain now. 

I guess my point is a parable of the old “Don’t judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes” Don’t judge, until… The bible says “do not judge” or does it? The Bible is all about judgment, we have to judge, it’s impossible not to judge… When someone is being abused, we should judge! When someone steals, we should judge! When we decide to turn right vs left…. We judge! We need to judge “rightly” for the right reasons, the right motives, the right purposes… Judging rightly can be difficult, but necessary! 

So, back to crawl spaces. Nobody says “I sure wish I could crawl under that house… I love tight spaces filled with dirt, mice and spiders. I love it when I can hear a raccoon scurry away but it’s too tight to turn and see it charging me… just like with people, sometimes we just need to stop and avoid the worst of crawl spaces because they are just too dark, too dirty and too dangerous. Sometimes we just need to help those that were forced into that crawl space, lend a hand, provide light, or just let them know we are there and there is still a way out… 

I have been in every type of crawl space, steam tunnels with rats, wet trenches by lakes, hand digging a place for ductwork to fit… I’ve been dirty with asbestos, dust and sand, every crack and crevice of my clothing filled, eyes covered with spider webs and once I got face to face with a snake.

Crawl spaces are like people, the one place nobody wants to see, because it reveals the worst places in life. Its not fun to go there but sometimes it’s just unavoidable. 

My Prayer for you today is that God, the ultimate mechanic, can enter your dirtiest crawlspace, clean it up and make it a glorious space to actually visit and work. Charlie