Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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Is Youth wasted on the young?

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The years pass by like a tornado, and the days pass by like winter changing to summer,  inside my brain, time shifts and blurs, as if the clock master is playing a game.

I heard a commentator referring to generation Z as having figured out the wisdom in making good life choices… referring to:

  • Drinking alcohol is at an all time low
  • As many as ⅓ of Gen Z not drinking at all
  • Teen pregnancy is way down
  • Food choices are far more healthy
  • Overeating is way down in this generation

The list goes on… is this generation displaying great insight and extraordinary wisdom? 

I was at a customer’s house this week, he is older than I am and has been caring for his wife for years as her memory slips away, I watched as he too is starting his own new struggles in life and things become harder to accomplish, harder to process and harder to just live the day to day stuff… does this man have extraordinary wisdom and insight?

One of our boys came to visit this weekend. I watched as he poured all his strength into turning a nut off the ball hitch protruding from his truck, a strong man, a man who became a dedicated father and devoted husband. I saw strength, I saw courage, I saw motivation, self sacrifice and a willingness to provide for his family at all costs, even to the point of giving his own life to make his family strong.

I saw myself, or should I say, I saw who I was.

Today I looked and saw a man in the mirror I no longer recognize, he has gray in his beard and shiny spots on his head that was once covered with hair that resembled Eddy VanHalen.

I saw a man with fibromyalgia, a condition brought on by years of trauma and survival. I saw a man in the mirror that used to jump and run but now he creaks and cracks. I saw a man that pulled himself up from the floor after retrieving a pen but once pulled engines with only a rope and good balance. I saw years, I saw tears, I saw pain… I saw joy.

Yesterday we had our family devotion time, via ZOOM , we talked about judgement, mercy and grace. In retrospect, we talked about generations. How can generations be so different and still have the same struggles as when time began? Youthful bliss, family dedication, desperate departures, sunsets loneliness… no escaping the seasons of change, but so much difference from generation to generation. The same but different… I remember back to my Friendship church days when our director of the Christmas play would remind us to “Always maintain a ridgid state of flexibility” (wise words Criss) That statement carries the words of truth to all corners of the earth and yet this falls on deaf ears as every generations strives to make its own unique and indelible mark on the pages of history. 

Back to Gen Z, a unique generation and definitely a generation of indelible markings… making wise choices? Thriving? Or surviving? What an interesting and honest observation of better choices or maybe it’s actually a deep moaning cry? The deepest guttural utterances… could it actually be the lack of human interactions? Back when I drank, it was mostly to gain a social advantage and starting point of relationships. How about lowered teen pregnancy? Is it because fewer people flirt and date anymore? Not enjoying a meal together could be why overeating is less prominent? Is this thriving? Surviving? Or is this not even living? All great questions, I claim no great insight, I claim no words that can answer these questions… I am simply asking…

Back to my customer, for a moment. This older man is young, in his heart, he knows what to do and how to do it. He has a vast array of tools and equipment at his fingertips, but he is no longer capable of swinging from tree to tree like he did as a young Tarzan.

In my mind?… I am still that youthful fool that went to the bar on a Friday night with a full bank account, only to arrive the very next day with only 2 nickels left for gas that week… If only I could have my youth filled days back, if I knew the pain I would endure now, I would have certainly been wiser, or would I? 

Yes my sons, youth is truly wasted on the young, so today I challenge you to be wise with your youth, learn from the countless fools that go before you, learn from those that have been on your path, we may be an “old fuddy duddy” in your eyes, but there is a day that is only a few minutes away that you too shall look into the mirror and see a stranger staring back at you. An old “fuddy duddy” with gray in his beard, shiny spots on his head and a pain in every joint that now cracks and creaks with every movement. 

Blessings on my customer, a dear friend of mine, a mentor, a good man that has new struggles in this chapter of life, God knows your challenges as well as mine and he is always ready to take our burdens, as long as we don’t refuse His help.

The youth I had was never truly wasted until I saw the man in the mirror that missed out on relationships that should have been. Charlie.

Sign-us or sinus

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This week started well and ended in a trip to the doctor.

Finally I am the center of attention!

Jess has her broken wrist, Al had his Pneumonia and finally I get to have a major sinus infection…

When I get a sinus infection it’s not just a headache, it’s not just an aversion to light, it’s not just a runny nose… nope, for me a sinus infection is laying there moaning in pain, covering my eyes with two layers of towels to block all light from entering my eyes, its a nose so raw that I start to think I have no more skin left to dab at… 

Maybe I am just a big baby?

Lets measure my pain tolerance?

When Al smashed my ring finger with an eight pound maul, I did lay down and hold my hand exclaiming great pain but never swore or shed a tear, so maybe that’s just coincidence… 

When I got a sliver that went in one side of my finger and out the other, passing by the bone which deflected the trajectory of the sliver. I looked, I saw and I said “ wow, that’s a big one!”

Or perhaps the proof of me being a big baby is when I got carpal tunnel surgery on both hands and orthoscopic surgery on my knee, on the same day so my recovery time would overlap. But a week later I was in the BWCAW, and got covid…still had a decent time.

Ya, I’m a whiner I guess. But I sure don’t remember the  “sign-up for sinus”

I was doing the math today and calculating how much time I’ve been set back because of my shifting responsibilities as a caregiver and now? I’ve lost four days to a sinus infection, and that’s not even the time it takes to catch up. did you know my pigs don’t give an OINK about how I feel, I still need water and feed them every day. Do you also know the chicks don’t give a cluck about my responsibilities elsewhere, they still need clean water and lots of grains… Minus 20F simply adds to the challenges, I don’t get to “wait until its warmer out” I just dress like I live in Siberia and fill the water, break the ice and wrestle with doors that are frozen shut… it’s all part of the beauty of our life. 

All this to say “I wouldn’t trade this life for any other”. I am blessed and I am tired. My life is full and not boring. We are serving and finding value. Life is most complete when you have someone that depends on you, for something. Finding value in serving others is one of the greatest gifts God gives us. I don’t regret how little time I have to do “nothing”, because the fact is, I have plenty of time to do what I like to do. Life will continue to wane on, and I will become less able to provide, and serve others, perhaps I can fish more, visit more and talk to those in need, even if it’s  just a little bit more, each day. 

A sinus infection may slow me down for a season, and give me time to think about things I would normally not give a single “OINK” about. 

A broken wrist may help me appreciate the laundry chores that I normally take for granted, or finding satisfaction in cleaning the stove.

Pneumonia may give me a new appreciation and perspective for caregiving.

But God is the one that gives purpose, value and worth to life at every level. 

Find someone today that needs a little attention, a little help, a little care, be someone like Jesus today to someone that needs a bit of Jesus’ love. 

Enjoying the melting but missing the snowshoeing, Charlie

A walk of faith.

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Dear Father God, what can I do? What have I not done? 

Back in May 2024 Jess and I prayed, we prayed many days straight and heard one answer… “GO!” and that is what we have been doing, but somewhere along the way I can’t help but wonder if we have made a couple left turns, costing us money… costing us time? Don’t get me wrong, of all the crazy trips I have taken and all the crazy Ideas I have started, failed and succeeded at… Sam’s Place is bigger than all of them, probably bigger than all of them combined. 

As Jess and I start running low on our resources to  fund this adventure, I look around and think….

WHAT CAN I SELL? We have been open for over a month, we have one client… everything we read, everyone we talk to, everything we know says…. This is an urgent need… housing! So, where is everyone? We have rooms, we have employees, we have food…. We don’t have people… and my funds are getting thin, everything I projected is right on cue, everything is exactly as we planned, everything is ready… Is it actually a valuable need? Then where are the people? 

Last night a prayer went into the heavens from my mouth, this morning my prayer is “Lord, what else can I do? Show me the path! I will walk the path! Who do I talk to? What else can I do? I have not lost faith in this endeavor, we still believe this is the right thing to do. 

I think of the promise made to King David, about building the temple, and how that promise was filled through David’s son. Is this too like the temple? Am I to prepare a way for another to walk into completion? I’m ok with that as well, although I am tempted to stand on my balcony and say “LOOK AT ALL THE GREAT THINGS I HAVE DONE!” like Nebuchadnezzar did, am I to start walking on all fours and eat grass like an ox?  Am I to go into my inner room and pray? Or am I the one standing on the corner with long tassels from the corners of my robe, lifting my hands high and praying in a loud voice so all the people can see how religious I am? I hope that’s not what I become. 

We pray, in earnest, pleading to the Lord to fill our need, providing us enough to make it, to not lose our home that I built, but if that is what we need to do? Then at least we can become our own tenants… I am not worried about us, I have been put into bankruptcy twice, survived losing my retirement three times and digging out of a mountain of debt while being a single father of three boys, they can testify that I don’t quit easy… My bride is not nervous because she knows I will always provide and protect her, she is safe… I have built a successful HVAC business, I know how to survive, I guess I was just hoping it could be easy for once. 

What do we do when our plans don’t align with Gods, or… when our timing for the plans God has for us is faster than God’s timing?

Well, that’s simple, we pray, we listen, we trust God, every step of the way. And we do.

On this exceptionally warm Sunday morning, I thank the Lord that heating Sam’s Place hallways and rooms is so much cheaper today than last week… I give thanks in all situations, because God is and will always be the one driving the bus, I am simply a tour guide, talking about the places God is taking us. 

Stay safe on the lakes and on the trails, Charlie.