Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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The despair that comes from strength.

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When I am strong, I fail, when I am weak, I am strong!

God gave me a strong body, that body is definitely breaking down and starting to fail… The morning pains associated with waking up. The knee that needs injections. The hands that once turned oil filters. The shoulders that pop and crackle. The eyes that once saw clearly. It’s no lie that youth is wasted on the young.

 If I knew then, what I know now, I would not be the man I am. Instead, I would be a different man that does not know what I know now.

One life lesson I am still learning is trusting God to always do what is good and right! 

About two weeks ago Jess and I hit a bump in the road with a situation at Sam’s Place. I wont get into the details, but it discouraged us greatly… We started to question the WHAT, WHY, WHEN, and HOW… Looking into all our alternatives, questioning God himself, asking God… are we hearing your voice? Is this still what you are asking of us? And then, three days ago… I sent Jess this text:

 “Do you think our discouragement about Sam’s Place is because it’s a satanic attack?”

Low and behold, My asking that question has changed our hearts almost overnight. The situation changed dramatically, we got some news that helped us to realize God is still bigger than our issues… God let us know we had been operating in our own strength and we needed to pray more and lean on him more, and so… reclining back, into his arms, we now step forward with his strength.

I am indestructible, unstoppable and in control! Until God destroys my plans, stops me in my tracks and removes me from the operators panel of my life… Jesus regains the lead and I once again, I get out of the driver’s seat, taking my proper place as the tour guide, on the bus that Jesus is driving.  Jesus determines why, where, when and how that bus is operated and I simply tell others about what is outside the  windows of that wonderful tour bus. 

Its difficult to be given the role of “leader” in the Hazzard family tree… Hazzard men are strong, fearless, determined and focused, that leads to being the most important person on the planet! Imagine being so strong that you become blind to restraint! I was once told… “Manly strength is the power to do so much, yet restraining that power for the good of everyone but yourself”… self sacrifice for the good of others? BUT I LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF ME! Like the great words of agent Smith…

ME, ME, and also ME!

How easily I can turn from God and lean on my own understanding, forsaking the words of Jesus “I will never leave you or forsake you” 

How quickly I forget that Jesus has mended my broken heart, held tight the ropes of unbelief, lifted me out of the sewage in my very own Kidron Valley. 

Jess and I are on track again, the unstoppable team with the unstoppable dream. Now, I start playing in a new arena… FUNDRAISING. I know, this is the part that makes you want to avoid me. Do you remember playing “hide and seek”? I was excellent at finding others, not so good at hiding, so, with no further ado… “ready or not, here I come” I am coming in strong. Like it or not, I’m comin in hot. I am asking for donations, and I have God on my side! Or should I say, I am on GOD’S side? 

Today I officially started the unofficial fundraising at Sam’s Place! What are the goals we have to achieve:

Adding Air conditioning for our residents’ comfort during the hot times of the year.

Adding an elevator

Replacing the ramp that meets ADA for our residents safety. 

Updating the kitchen.

Exterior upgrades like paint & awnings.

A van to help residents get to appointments. 

Pavilion for smoking. Away from the building. 

Operational costs of programs that integrate community involvement.

Upgrade our security system.

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Visit us today on the web and contact us. Help us make a home for someone in need.

Welcome to the Sam’s Place family located in the great north woods of Minnesota:

Sam’s Place

200 Huskie Blvd

c/o PO Box 313

Bigfork, MN 56628

218-256-9154

samsplacebf@gmail.com

https://www.samsplacenorth.com

https://www.facebook.com/p/Sams-Place-61559249289857

Thank you, Charlie.

The painful start.

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Many years ago a man and wife along with two daughters showed me care, or maybe I should just call it what it is… they loved me… but why? I was a problem child! Drugs, drinking  and all that comes with being a troubled abused child. The love they showed never left my side and in fact, The love they showed has influenced my every decision, never knowing when they would reappear from my memories and reminding me I am worth loving. 

Today I remember the day I went to visit them in the great north woods at the vacation spot, years away and never talking but I never forgot. The day I stopped was the day I picked up a new puppy in Bemidji, me, my boys and a  new puppy… but no wife, I had entered into a chapter of pain. I remember sitting, and crying as my boys were distracted outside by the same girls from my adolescent neighborhood… it was my first weekend of a new glorious life. Eventually my life would be blessed by my dream girl, Jess. They breathed hope and love back into a lifeless corpse of a man, again, taking from the pot of love that overflowed and dipping a portion of hope from the lifelong experiences of walking in God’s guidance. 

That night… one broken man, three young boys, a guitar and a small white German Shepherd pup quietly wept in a tent. Camping was always our go to for fun, and the small state park south of Deer River now holds a private place in my heart as the beginning of my new life. Ironically, this is near the headwaters of the mighty Mississippi river, two separate journeys, one to the golf of America and the other? well its only a few miles from that vacation spot where I found hope in life, from a couple, a second time. 

Today I remember Dan, as he went to be with the Lord yesterday. I recognize his time, compassion and his quiet hope… his love for his girls and the wife he adored. One hand on the shifter of his van, one hand held a newspaper and a heart that was held by Jesus.

Today your fight is over and you get to meet our creator face to face, your legacy lives on in my life as I give back that which was given to me. Your love and concern for a dirtbag, drunk, pill popping, loser of a boy. Your belief in me has always been a light in my dark hard heart, a light that I can not contain, a light so bright that I need to give it to those who can not appreciate what you did, what God did in your life and what you gave to me. If I had one wish in my short life, it would be to change one boy like me. To help change one life, to help another love God and serve others. 

Rest in peace my mentor and friend. See you soon! Say hi to my sister, mother and all those that are waiting for us to come home.

C.

Success in failure

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As we sat deep in the woods overlooking the ravine, a twig snaps, leaves crunch and out steps the largest buck I have ever seen, It had to score around 350, perfectly balanced and a body that easily hit 290 lbs. The most majestic buck I have ever seen! I coached my son: as we gazed upon the monster… “slowly” I whispered. He slowly raised his shotgun filled with a finely tuned sabot round, dead eye! Can’t miss! Once in a lifetime! Taking Aim, he breathes in, holds for a moment and slowly releases his breath… his first ever White tail is about to drop on the spot. He gently squeezed the trigger, not jerking a bit, steady and true, just like we practiced. And then in an instance, it’s over, I woke up in the comfort of my bed realizing it was a dream. I never had the opportunity to watch my sons succeed in deer hunting, at least not like in my dream. 

Years later I sit and remember the feeling they shared as they all found success in failure. Learning how to fail is a much better lesson than dropping the big one first time out. Failure is by far a better way to learn than success. But sometimes we need a little success to have the motivation to fail. I remember my first time hunting, I was 18, in winter Wisconsin. So many good and bad things about that trip. Rolled a friend’s fathers truck, over drinking and shot a monster 12 point… I still have that mount. Never a day goes by where I don’t see that mount and remember the person I was, and the things I did… Success? Perhaps… Failure? MOST CERTAINLY!!  

I don’t dwell on my mistakes like I used to, after all, that was 40 years ago. I have grown a lot from that fate filled day. I respect people more and I don’t drink or do drugs anymore… Instead, I have turned my life over to doing GOD’S will and not my own… ohh I’m still in there, waiting to screw things up and learn a new or previously learned lesson… there is no end to my failures, but I look at things different now, I can see the hand of God leading me, and when I let go of that hand, I can hear the still calm voice of my Lord say: “Charlie, I am” and once again I reach out to the everlasting Father that has kept me alive to this day. 

My life? HA, I’m on borrowed time! I think back to the movies of a man that gives his life to servanthood because another man saved his life. So now, he gives his life to serving that man in a debt of gratitude.  A debt he can not repay! Debts we can not actually conceive in its fullness. A debt I gladly turn over to serve the one that saved me… and yet, we forget!

Eventually these three boys learned to love hunting and found success on their own timeline, and learned the lessons they needed to learn. Years later Sam and Al joined my family… The only one I never got to share in hunting success was Sam… we went out a few times but I don’t think he was ever truly interested in woodsy stuff. I took Al out hunting porcupines one year. He was successful in how he stood there as I pulled the trigger, no flinching, screaming and no freaking out. I kept him focused on the object and he found success in my pulling the trigger… incase You don’t know, balloon pops are Als biggest phobia, and it’s a major deal to have him out hunting. 

I am thankful God has a use for me. That keeps me motivated! Much like the success he gave me in hunting for the first time. In this, I could teach life lessons to 5 boys, and many more if we count Boy Scouts. I wonder how all my Boys Scouts are doing today, are they successful because of my failures? I sure hope so!!

Have a blessed day today, tomorrow I bring 5 fat hogs into the slaughter house to be processed into food for our family and friends. I STILL HAVE A HOG IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

God Bless, Charlie.