Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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Raw and uncensored.

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My life was so often like the pro-wresting matches of the 1980 era, It looked raw, uncensored and spontaneous but in reality, God had me right where he wanted me, learning the lessons of my mistakes and experiencing the troubles I would one day put into use for HIS will.

Every once in a while when I start to write, I decide it might be a bit too raw, too uncensored… I start to write, I stop writing… Some days I write to only myself, my own therapy or maybe to not forget.  I don’t write to feel sorry for myself but I do write to remember the pain I have gotten through, and sometimes I write to help myself process… Other-times I just need to put it on paper (or a screen) to just slow my brain down and see what I am thinking, then I can look and say to myself: yes that was painful or yes, that was who I was…

To truly help another person, I believe you first need to be able to relate to that person, to understand at some level, to have empathy. I believe you first need to be able to feel. I have lived a lot of pain, caused a lot of pain and helped some to get past their pain, but I don’t believe I am done, at least not yet, I have many more people I can help, so onward I push, forward I move, listening to the prompts of God, following his lead. 

One of the most prominent sayings in my life aside from the serenity prayer is: “HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE” when a person is hurting, they are so much more likely to hurt others, it takes a great deal of wisdom, maturity and life experience to rise above the pain we hold in our lives and close to our hearts so we don’t continue to hurt others. But the real question is how! HOW DO WE GET THERE? Is it from being hurt so much and so deeply that we become numb? Is it from will power to just move past? Is it from the advice of others to, as the Bob Newhart skit said… “Just stop it, or I will bury you alive in a box”

I think it is by the grace of God that we can even start in the direction to help others, we kind of need to surrender, and find purpose and value in our new goal of helping others. Or maybe you are like I was… only interested in myself? I used to think of myself a lot more than I thought of others (and to be honest, I still do), and when I did I usually started to think “Poor me” and anxiety would set in. I have found that when we dedicate ourselves to helping others become better rather than sitting and stewing about our own lives, we become happy. Or at the very least we become less depressed, that’s a good start.

Today I am distracted by other thoughts, thoughts of a new grand baby soon and what I am going to do as I get older and my body keeps telling me I cant continue at this pace any longer, like I used to… I was reminded of that this past week while installing a 4-head Mini-split system…

I was feeding the line through a header, around a corner and up through the floor of the closet, today my arm aches from pushing on one side of the wall, going to the other side and pulling, twisting and sending it through the floor, then getting down off the bucket I’m using as a ladder (a ladder won’t fit into the space I am working) and going up the flight of stairs to straighten out the copper tubing we call a line set, so I can repeat the process again at least 50 times (well maybe only 40). That was done three times with three different line sets, the fourth was much easier…today is my third day of recovery. The two man job, done by one man, is hard on this old man.

I love my job, I have never worked a job I love more than owning an HVAC company, but its hard work, I wish so often I could find a younger man to teach this trade to, but it seems, I am one of many business owners that have given up on trying to teach their trade to… a replacement. It just doesn’t seem worth the bother anymore as most younger guys don’t want to work, earn a living and take pride in a skill… they seem more interested in working for the minimum amount of time, then trying to get unemployment… My apologies for sounding like a disgruntled business owner and perpetuating generational divide, but as a Gen X, well, lets just say, we all seem to be feral. 

Let us not forget our past, or else, we will be doomed to relive it!

One of my biggest missions as Jess and I run Sam’s Place is to provide the guidance that others may need to live the most productive life possible for each person at Sam’s Place. I am certainly not perfect, but I do believe that with the Lord’s hand on my shoulder, we can make a difference for some, just not all. 

Circling back to my writing, I realize that what I write about may seem low, sad and somedays happy and joyfull, but I always want my messages to be filled with hope and not despair. I want my message to you to be one of future success and not one of past failure. I want my message to be filled with expectation of goodness in your life rather than a message of doom because of what you are going through. You see, I believe if God can do for me what he has done and continues to do for me, he can help, save and prosper (for his glory) any and everyone, if we can just learn to help others on our own journey. 

So on this beautiful Sunday morning of pre “labor-day” weekend I hope you find the joy and excitement we feel in our home as we expectantly wait for God’s miraculous hand in our life. 

Matthew 9:35-38

English Standard Version

The Harvest Is Plentiful, the Laborers Few

35 And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; 38 therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

Have a blessed week all, C.

PS. If you have not yet had a chance to donate to Jess birthday fundraiser, today would be a good day to do just that. Either on Facebook at Samsplacebf or our website Samsplacenorth.com every dollar donated is matched one for one. We are a 501c3 charity, so all donations are a tax deduction for you.

When time stops

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As the 3 year mark hits we stop and reflect, a lot has happened in three years, but one thing has remained absolutely unchanged, Sam. It’s hard to believe it’s been  3 years, and yet it seems like it was a lifetime ago. The head stone is always in need of a bit of cleaning, the grass is in need of a bit of trimming, the pine needles fall on the bench and the birds chirp as life continues. Life continues and yet it is still frozen, timeless, still, cold and dark. The hole in the heart that never will be filled. It may seem a bit smaller as our hearts fill with grandbabies. The newest additions to the Hazzard clan that will never meet folks like:  great grandma and grampa, great-aunty Laurie, my niece Ellie and… uncle Sam. I wonder who is next, I think about who is gone, I think about who might be the next to check into eternity… Me? Jess? A brother or sister?… There is always a “next” and it seems to be gathering momentum as time slides forward… As if it were an avalanche, picking up speed, gathering  souls on it time stopping journey down the mountain.

Time stopped that night and even though it moves on everyday, it’s frozen, frozen in time is the scream, frozen is the loss of strength, frozen is the darkness of the early morning phone call, frozen is the brother that doesn’t understand and can’t process the overload of information… Frozen is the step father that reached out to help… frozen in time like a portrait hanging on the hallway wall. Frozen, as memories stop and time leaves behind the moments and memories of a child, a “Man gone too early”.

And yet, here we are, moving forward, making plans and trying to influence one more guy to step into recovery to find a life that has a better end. The thing about recovery is it never is over, and although you may have never been lying on the floor physically, we have all been in that hall way of despair, the corridor of making the wrong choices… we all know this path leads to a door, and once you step across the eternal threshold, there is no turning back, no saying goodbye, no undoing the last step.

For me that last step, that eternal threshold is one into light, into heaven, into God’s Glory… I hope you are also walking towards that door. I can’t see the door you are walking towards and you can’t see mine… but we all are on that same journey called life, until we too enter into that timeless realm… or at least its timeless for those left behind, still walking the path laid out in front of them. 

At Sam’s Place, we are not a recovery program, we don’t provide recovery to our clients, but we are all dedicated to helping anyone that struggles with staying clean, some do great, some are walking a rocky path. All we can do is provide a home where recovery and staying clean is our goal, because staying clean is a requirement to make good decisions.

One time is all it takes… as I have heard many times:

 You are always one drink, one toke, one pop away from destruction. 

I mean, if you stop and think, are we not all one decision away from making our lives a mess? The man that stops at the bar for a drink, and ends his day swerving over the line, killing a mother and three kids. Or the harmless toke that brought on middle aged schizophrenia.  A pill that ends a carrier. The glass pipe that spiralled you into needing narcan. The girl in the video that was “harmless” yet ended your marriage. The business decision that was so easy but sent you to prison. Speaking harshly to your brother ended your relationship.  The Child who just wanted to be important but you were too busy. The friend that called a little too late in the evening whose funeral you are attending tomorrow. The granddaughter that wanted to show off her art work, but it was cutting into your busy schedule. Or maybe it was that leaking tire you meant to fix months ago that blew out at 55mph causing you to swerve across four lanes of traffic and now the little girl in the back of the minivan will never be able to have children. 

When time stops, when lives change forever, when things can’t go back to what they were… it’s still not too late to make the next good choice, it’s not too late to be there for a different friend… It’s not too late to “not” stop at the bar, or to “not” take a toke or to go fix that tire… life may be short, but it’s worth living and it’s worth living to the fullest… When life has you down, the best medicine is to get out, go somewhere and help someone… I dare you to prove me wrong! Just go and help someone in need, and if they refuse help, find someone who will take help.

The best way to help beat depression …thinking of someone other than yourself, try it. When we shift our focus away from ourselves and onto the well-being of others, we trigger positive neurochemical responses. 

But in the end, remember this, we do not know the battles others are facing, some battles can be handled alone if you have been practicing. Some battles require help, support and encouragement from others.. Yet others may require a total surrender to the care of a professional. The best decision you can make is to surrender your entire life to God, I know that may sound cliche, but it’s a cold hard fact, Jesus is the only cure to life and death. 

God Bless, C.

Relax said the night man

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“We are programmed to receive

You can check out any time you like

But you can never leave”

Yesterday Jess and I talked about the doctrine of eternal security (salvation), basically… its the doctrine of once saved always saved… once you have been saved you are always saved or once you choose to be saved, you can choose to give up salvation…. Losing salvation, that’s a scary thought. 

I was talking to a pastor a few months back and he said something that really hit me hard, he told me in the most dogmatic way “The doctrine of eternal salvation (once saved, always saved) is the worst of all doctrine and this doctrine has sent more people to Hell than any other doctrine there is… 

I’m not sure how this doctrine can send me to hell if God has chosen me and none can snatch me from his hand… but on the other hand, If I have chosen salvation, then I can give it back up, after all, I choose to accept God as my savior so obviously i can “un-choose”

I know this is a hard one to talk about, it’s been a point of contention for about 2025 years in the church (actually it goes back to creation) and although many great men have made dogmatic statements declaring one or the other, somehow this topic is still not settled in the church at large… WHY??

I will simply state what I have discovered after many long conversations. This is a matter of deep reflection and many hours of study, but I challenge you to do the work yourself and not lean on simple commentaries and “wise” men’s explanations. 

Did Jesus die in my place so that I may be saved from the punishment I have earned (death)?

Did Jesus actually die for the forgiveness of my sins or did he potentially die for the potential forgiveness of my sins?

Did Jesus die once for the forgiveness of my sins or does his death only cover some sin, so that I need to earn forgiveness from the rest?

If Jesus died for some, but not all of my sin, how do I figure out if I have earned salvation for the remainder of my sin?

How do I figure out how much sin Jesus covered vs how much I cover? 

If God is loving, how can he send anyone to Hell?

If God is Good, how can he not punish a guilty person for the crimes they commit?

Is God really the one that can make the determination as to my punishment? 

Shouldn’t I be able to determine what punishment is the correct level of punishment for my own sin?

Did Jesus die for all sin?

If Jesus paid the price for all sin, why doesn’t everyone just automatically go to Heaven?

If you open the book of Ephesians, you can read this letter Paul wrote to this church. It becomes very clear, very quickly that Jesus died for those he chose, and not all people… Jesus chose… well maybe Paul got it wrong or maybe we misinterpret Paul’s writing due to “Style”

Romans 8:29-30,  1 Timothy 2:4, and pretty much all of Ephesians is clearly written about this… but, is there anywhere that Paul’s influence is not involved that we discover God’s sovereignty in justice and forgiveness? 

The website “GOT ANSWERS” correctly describes it this way: 

https://www.gotquestions.org/God-is-sovereign.html

God’s sovereignty is one of the most important principles in Christian theology, as well as one of its most hotly debated. Whether or not God is actually sovereign is usually not a topic of debate; all mainstream Christian sects agree that God is preeminent in power and authority. God’s sovereignty is a natural consequence of His omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence. What’s subject to disagreement is to what extent God applies His sovereignty—specifically, how much control He exerts over the wills of men. When we speak of the sovereignty of God, we mean He rules the universe, but then the debate begins over when and where His control is direct and when it is indirect. God is described in the Bible as all-powerful and all-knowing (Psalm 147:5), outside of time (Exodus 3:14; Psalm 90:2), and responsible for the creation of everything (Genesis 1:1; John 1:1). These divine traits set the minimum boundary for God’s sovereign control in the universe, which is to say that nothing in the universe occurs without God’s permission. God has the power and knowledge to prevent anything He chooses to prevent, so anything that does happen must, at the very least, be “allowed” by God.”

The idea that God is sovereign usually only arises in conversations around personal choice. It seems we want to believe we have control in some things but then blame God for things that don’t go how we want? 

I leave you with this incomplete study of God’s divine choice: 

Do you believe God sends any person into hell that doesn’t actually want to go to hell? God gives these people exactly what they want, to be apart from God…. nobody goes kicking and screaming into hell, they all go willingly, just as nobody goes to heaven kicking and screaming, they all go willingly. 

Can a dead man save himself or bring himself back to life?

Can a dead person choose anything?

Can Jesus choose whom he chooses? 

All great questions, so how does a person get saved? If they can’t save themselves? 

If God chooses you, can you decide to go against God’s will and “unsave” yourself?

All I know is this, when I was unsaved, God saved me, I don’t know why, I just know he did… I know it was not my doing, yet I can still be held accountable for my choices. Does this mean God saw I would choose him so he chose me? That’s just not logical, he had to save me because I was dead with sins all around me and he fixed that. Please don’t misunderstand, I still sin, but now… I feel guilty for sinning, I feel remorse for being involved in the torture and murder of Jesus… and yet, he forgives me.

Back to the Hotel in Cali… 

“Last thing I remember, I was

Running for the door

I had to find the passage back

To the place I was before

Relax, said the night man

We are programmed to receive

You can check out any time you like

But you can never leave”

In the light of what Jesus did, these lyrics can mean something very different now.

Have a blessed week and thanks for reading my blog today. C.