Jess and I headed out the ⅛ mile driveway, Al slipped into the morning routine and started “bopping his head” to the sounds in his headphones, Groot settled down in the back of the car in his normal fashion… we turn right, accelerate, brake, accelerate, brake then turn left. As we turn left we brace for the impact with the “barrier”… we collide, head on! Three days a week or more, same drill. We don’t feel the barrier physically, but more like the music dies in Al’s headphones, the little “spinner” on the phones start to dance the standard processes and we are no longer connected with the world.
Somedays I feel like we are living in the movie “Maze Runner”…
The gates open, we are well prepared, and we start running the maze of roads, mapping out until… We can no longer map anything. Returning home before the gates close, locking us out in the maze overnight. We made it and there is no need to face the real terrors and fears of the world.
I love living in a world where I can escape the constant “connection”… The monitoring. The always “knowing” phone. Listening, adjusting, changing my personal algorytm… Our advertisements! What Jess and I had just been talking about “the dogs need their shots” turns into getting ads about spending our money on the “best care for your fur babies”. If you are like me, I find great JOY in the quiet things, the calm of the trees, standing alone in the forest. The flowing waters that gurgle against the battle of cold snow and forming ice… robbing momentum from the waters relentless desire to reach the ocean. The waters never stop and reflect on how they are are “VICTIMS” of circumstance. The waters never call for the government to provide de-icing chemicals… its almost like the waters know they shoud never quit, never give up, victory is coming.
Even the distant buzz of the loggers working to provide the ever thirsty lumber mill industry with exactly what they need to continue the quest of construction. After hundreds of years, and still making timber into sticks, trees into pulp.
I seek victory! I seldom have a victim mentality but so often, I find myself in the constant battle of explaining “victims are self made”… I’m not saying that every situation doesn’t produce a victim, but if you wake up, and don’t make your bed, don’t watch the sun rise, dont find joy…. Well, its that much harder to find victory in the remaining hours of life. I don’t believe I am controlled by my emotions but rather God has given me the power to control my emotions. And if I have power to control my emotions, then it must be a decision to wake up knowing once again, I am the “victor”… so I choose to be victorious, even if all I do is make my bed, drink my coffee and see the sun rise from obscurity to magnificence. I can be a Victor in something, so can you!
I wake up, enjoy a half hour of calm, wait for the coffee to brew, sit down and listen to the sounds of my heart beat, the creaks of the house, the breathing of my dogs and the cool wind beating against the eves…. At ¼ past the hour, I rise to my feet and retrieve my loving bride, make the bed, start turning on the lights and settle back down for a bit of screentime while it’s still calm…
The day starts to break again…
It’s not always easy to have a victor’s mentality, it’s not always easy to remember God’s goodness, its not always easy to remember I deserve so much less… Some days I struggle, and to be honest, I struggle much more often than I should. But knowing God chose me, and that I am not able to bring anything to God that is worthy of his goodness, well, that reminds me… I am wonderfully and fearfully made in the image of my GOD….. when I remember the fathers voice, I again turn to the victory, I put off the victim and realize everything good in my life is not my own doing but rather the gift of the one who is always providing those things I need.
Victory is a decision to see the gifts I have been given, victimhood is oppression to “always feeling like I deserve better”… that destroys my joy…. Holding on to the good things, letting go of the bad things, choosing to be a VICTOR is choosing freedom and finding joy.
Good Bless C.
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