When time stops

As the 3 year mark hits we stop and reflect, a lot has happened in three years, but one thing has remained absolutely unchanged, Sam. It’s hard to believe it’s been  3 years, and yet it seems like it was a lifetime ago. The head stone is always in need of a bit of cleaning, the grass is in need of a bit of trimming, the pine needles fall on the bench and the birds chirp as life continues. Life continues and yet it is still frozen, timeless, still, cold and dark. The hole in the heart that never will be filled. It may seem a bit smaller as our hearts fill with grandbabies. The newest additions to the Hazzard clan that will never meet folks like:  great grandma and grampa, great-aunty Laurie, my niece Ellie and… uncle Sam. I wonder who is next, I think about who is gone, I think about who might be the next to check into eternity… Me? Jess? A brother or sister?… There is always a “next” and it seems to be gathering momentum as time slides forward… As if it were an avalanche, picking up speed, gathering  souls on it time stopping journey down the mountain.

Time stopped that night and even though it moves on everyday, it’s frozen, frozen in time is the scream, frozen is the loss of strength, frozen is the darkness of the early morning phone call, frozen is the brother that doesn’t understand and can’t process the overload of information… Frozen is the step father that reached out to help… frozen in time like a portrait hanging on the hallway wall. Frozen, as memories stop and time leaves behind the moments and memories of a child, a “Man gone too early”.

And yet, here we are, moving forward, making plans and trying to influence one more guy to step into recovery to find a life that has a better end. The thing about recovery is it never is over, and although you may have never been lying on the floor physically, we have all been in that hall way of despair, the corridor of making the wrong choices… we all know this path leads to a door, and once you step across the eternal threshold, there is no turning back, no saying goodbye, no undoing the last step.

For me that last step, that eternal threshold is one into light, into heaven, into God’s Glory… I hope you are also walking towards that door. I can’t see the door you are walking towards and you can’t see mine… but we all are on that same journey called life, until we too enter into that timeless realm… or at least its timeless for those left behind, still walking the path laid out in front of them. 

At Sam’s Place, we are not a recovery program, we don’t provide recovery to our clients, but we are all dedicated to helping anyone that struggles with staying clean, some do great, some are walking a rocky path. All we can do is provide a home where recovery and staying clean is our goal, because staying clean is a requirement to make good decisions.

One time is all it takes… as I have heard many times:

 You are always one drink, one toke, one pop away from destruction. 

I mean, if you stop and think, are we not all one decision away from making our lives a mess? The man that stops at the bar for a drink, and ends his day swerving over the line, killing a mother and three kids. Or the harmless toke that brought on middle aged schizophrenia.  A pill that ends a carrier. The glass pipe that spiralled you into needing narcan. The girl in the video that was “harmless” yet ended your marriage. The business decision that was so easy but sent you to prison. Speaking harshly to your brother ended your relationship.  The Child who just wanted to be important but you were too busy. The friend that called a little too late in the evening whose funeral you are attending tomorrow. The granddaughter that wanted to show off her art work, but it was cutting into your busy schedule. Or maybe it was that leaking tire you meant to fix months ago that blew out at 55mph causing you to swerve across four lanes of traffic and now the little girl in the back of the minivan will never be able to have children. 

When time stops, when lives change forever, when things can’t go back to what they were… it’s still not too late to make the next good choice, it’s not too late to be there for a different friend… It’s not too late to “not” stop at the bar, or to “not” take a toke or to go fix that tire… life may be short, but it’s worth living and it’s worth living to the fullest… When life has you down, the best medicine is to get out, go somewhere and help someone… I dare you to prove me wrong! Just go and help someone in need, and if they refuse help, find someone who will take help.

The best way to help beat depression …thinking of someone other than yourself, try it. When we shift our focus away from ourselves and onto the well-being of others, we trigger positive neurochemical responses. 

But in the end, remember this, we do not know the battles others are facing, some battles can be handled alone if you have been practicing. Some battles require help, support and encouragement from others.. Yet others may require a total surrender to the care of a professional. The best decision you can make is to surrender your entire life to God, I know that may sound cliche, but it’s a cold hard fact, Jesus is the only cure to life and death. 

God Bless, C.