“Do you trust me?” The little girl looked into her fathers eyes and replied, “Yes daddy, I trust you!” She stood on the edge of the pool looking into the deep water, then back into her fathers eyes and jumped.
She walked down the aisle with her father leading her as she clung to his arm, just moments before he looked into her eyes and told her “He is a good man, I have no doubt he will provide, protect and honor you.” she settled into her high heels and said, “Thank you daddy, you have always been there, I trust your judgement! Now I need to trust another man, and your guidance over the years has been so valuable, thank you daddy!”
How does a woman trust a man? How does a man trust a woman? Why is trust so important? If I do something to lose that trust, can I ever earn it back? Should I even care? Should I just “LIVE AND LET LIVE?”
I guess the first question should be: What is trust?”
Dr Google says this:
Trust is the belief in the reliability, goodness, honesty, and effectiveness of someone or something, often leading to vulnerability and reliance on that person or thing.
I have talked to many a man who have trust in their wives and I have talked to some that have been betrayed…
Dante’s inferno describes hell as having 9 circles, it’s not a Christian perspective but rather a poet’s description of layers of hell, the 9th circle being the most evil of them all. The 9th circle is:
Treachery
– The deepest and coldest (or perhaps the hottest) part of Hell, where those who betrayed their masters, friends, or family are frozen in ice.
Treachery… betrayal of trust; deceptive action… Betrayal, deceit… I think everyone who has experienced this pain knows… It is a unique act of violating trust, loyalty and bonding…Often causing significant harm and emotional distress.
Betrayal comes in many forms, levels and degrees, all are significant but some are just debilitating… I have been told about betrayal that put a person into bed for days, weeks and even months, crying great tears of sorrow, sorrow so deep that even breathing becomes a struggle, thinking becomes pain and everyday chores can not be managed… betrayal, such a simple word that cuts to the bone, separates flesh and joints and make a person unable to continue living, perhaps in the literal sense at times but certainly life as a “zombie” would be a reasonable description… The Walking Dead!
I know recovery is slow and sometimes it is never recovered from, I know of some folks that are hurt so badly, they have decided to never take a chance in love, never allow a person to get that close again… barriers so trust can be guarded. And yet others do give in to “love” and are burnt again… yet there is the one in a thousand that opens to love and finds truth, love and healing, this is a true rarity, but it does actually happen.
I remember these words “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”
Love seems to be at the heart of trust, and trust seems to be the very core of love. But reality is, you can love without trust, Jesus has done this for us.
Jess and I got to experience how we can “love a person” and not “trust a person” at Sam’s Place, betrayal is not a prerequisite to loving, loving a person requires God’s divine intervention to allow you to love a person that you know will betray you, and when they do, to keep loving them… but trust is part of relationship, relationships dissolve without trust, without loyalty. But love? As a Christian, LOVE MUST ENDURE. Agape Love: the love you can not earn and also you can not lose based on merit… it can only be given by choice.
Find someone to love today, and expect nothing good in return,
Like Jesus did… it’s not easy, it’s just GOOD!
Charlie